Boners

Boner Preview Candidates for November 15th, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: WELL HEY THANKS PHARMA-BRO

Martin Shkreli, the former chief executive officer of Turing Pharmaceuticals and KaloBios Pharmaceuticals Inc, after a hearing at Federal Court in Brooklyn in October. Credit Lucas Jackson/Reuters Martin Shkreli, the pharmaceutical executive who was denounced for raising the price of a prescription drug by more than 5,000 percent, has released music from the only known copy of a Wu-Tang Clan album he owns exclusively. He had promised to do so if Donald J. Trump was elected president.

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Boner Candidate #2: AN APE IN HEELS

Two officials in West Virginia have come under fire for sharing racist messages about First Lady Michelle Obama. According to WSAZ, a message about the current first lady was shared thousands of times after it was posted on Facebook by Clay County Development Corporation Director Pamela Taylor. “It will be refreshing to have a classy, beautiful, dignified First Lady in the White House,” Taylor wrote. “I’m tired of seeing an ape in heels.”

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Boner Candidate #3: MORE SPORTS CULTURE BUILDING CHARACTER.

Bwog recently received screenshots of a Class of 2017 Wrestling Team GroupMe. The screenshots, which contain messages spanning from 2014 to a few days ago, are troubling—the men in the group message mock women’s appearances, make jokes about rape, use homophobic and racist slurs, and engage in other distasteful interactions. After requesting a statement from the University, we have learned that an investigation has since been launched, and that the Wrestling team will no longer be competing at their meet this weekend.

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Boner Candidate #4: CHILI’S IS SORRY. THE MANAGER HAS BEEN “RE-ASSIGNED.”

U.S. Army veteran Ernest Walker started recording video when a manager at a Chili’s restaurant in Cedar Hill, Texas, questioned his military service and took away his food. Like some other establishments around the country, Chili’s offered free meals to veterans and active military service members on Veterans Day. Walker wrote on his Facebook page that he was eating at Chili’s with his service dog, Barack, when an elderly customer wearing a Trump shirt came up to him. “He said he was in Germany, and that they did not let Blacks serve over there,” Walker wrote.  Soon after, Walker said the restaurant’s manager approached him and said that a fellow customer said Walker was “not a real soldier because [he] had [his] hat on indoors.”

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Boner Candidate #5: WE WERE GOING TO START OUR IN HOME GUN SAFETY LESSONS TOMORROW

 A 4-year-old seized a loaded handgun from a nightstand in her Indianapolis home and accidentally shot herself and her sleeping mother in the head, police say. Investigators believe the unidentified child fired the weapon one time around 8:30 a.m. Sunday and that the bullet pierced the youngster’s cheek before striking her mother in the back of her head.

Boner Candidate #6: I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE LIKE HOLDIN’ UP GARLIC OR A CROSS TO A VAMPIRE, YA KNOW?

A Michigan police officer was suspended Sunday with pay after he was seen off-duty driving a pickup truck bearing a Confederate flag around a group protesting Donald Trump’s election as president. Traverse City police Chief Jeff O’Brien announced the suspension of officer Michael Peters. O’Brien added that an internal investigation will begin Monday to determine whether Peters broke department rules. “He is not working as a police officer,” O’Brien told the Traverse City Record-Eagle. “I do not condone his actions.” O’Brien confirmed that a photo showed Peters at the rally Friday. The Confederate battle flag is seen by many people as a symbol of hatred and intimidation of African-Americans following the U.S. Civil War and the freeing of blacks from slavery. The flag was flown from the rear bed of a pickup near a “Love Trumps Hate” rally in the city. The truck was then parked near the rally where the driver was seen drinking a beer.

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