Boners

Boner Preview Candidates for November 1st, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: I THINK WE HAVE A POSITIVE ID

Police say Dennis Scalf robbed a taxi driver at gunpoint after getting picked up from Mt. Carmel West Hospital. Within 24 hours of police posting surveillance camera images, he was in custody. It didn’t take long for police to track down a heavily-tattooed man who reportedly robbed a taxi driver at gunpoint after getting a ride. Columbus Police say within 24 hours of posting the surveillance camera pics to social media, they had more than enough tips to identify him as Dennis Scalf.

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Boner Candidate #2: SHE EVEN HAD SOMEONE ELSE’S CLOTHES ON

A lawsuit filed Friday in Kanawha County, West Virginia, targets the Bartlett-Burdett-Cox Funeral Home. The lawsuit alleges the funeral home mixed up two bodies in January 2016, leading to a host of emotional trouble for daughter Peggy Bowles and the Yost family. “The mistake just kept happening,” Bowles said, “It was no single mistake.” Bowles said her mother’s dying wish was to have a closed casket funeral and that was far from what happened.

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Boner Candidate #3: HEY. HE WAS A BLACK KID RUNNING IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD, ALL RIGHT?

For more than two years, Clarise Coleman faithfully attended every track practice and every cross-country meet for her son, Chase. Part of it was being a supportive parent, proud that Chase had finally found “his sport.” Coleman loved the camaraderie that the cross-country team gave her 15-year-old freshman, even if it meant frequently road-tripping from their home in Syracuse for meets all around New York state. But as the mother of a nearly nonverbal autistic child, Coleman also knew that she needed to be there for Chase in case he needed help. She often scouted out racecourses ahead of time, noting where the lanky teenager might get lost or confused, as he often did. A few weeks ago, her worst fears came true when Chase — who was running in a meet in Rochester, N.Y., with his team from Corcoran High School — was assaulted by a stranger in the middle of a race.

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Boner Candidate #4: DANGEROUS DRUG DEALERS? NOT SO MUCH.

Gale Griffin and her husband Wendell Harvey have been transporting explosives for the military for years. They have top security clearance, and they’ve never been in trouble with the law. So when police in Fort Chaffee, Arkansas began a routine search of their truck, they never felt the least bit concerned about what police might find. “We have no relationship with anyone who deals drugs,” says Harvey who is a former police officer, who watched as the police pulled three baggies filled with baking soda out of the cab of the truck, “I told them ‘that’s baking soda,’” says Harvey. The police decided to test the substance, that to officers, looked suspicious, “we tested it three different times,” Says Chuck Bowen with Fort Chaffee PSD, “we got a positive concluding each time we tested,” says Bowen.

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Boner Candidate #5: IT’S MY SECOND AMENDMENT RIGHT TO JOKE ABOUT SHOOTING A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE

Sen. Richard Burr (R-N.C.) apologized for joking about putting a bullseye on Hillary Clinton. Sen. Richard Burr (R-N.C.) joked during private remarks about putting a bullseye on Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, CNN reported Monday “Nothing made me feel any better than [when] I walked into a gun shop, I think, yesterday … and there was a copy of Rifleman on the counter,” he said in audio posted by CNN of an event with Republican volunteers. “It’s got a picture of Hillary Clinton on the front of it. I was a little bit shocked at that ― it didn’t have a bullseye on it.”

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Boner Candidate #6: THE RAPABILITY SCALE

New Boston Police Chief James Brace, officer Stephen Case, former officer Alexandra Drake and Lt. Michael Masella Photo: New Boston Police Dept. A former cop claims her supervisor rated the attractiveness of female drivers he pulled over during New Hampshire traffic stops — and even ranked them using a “rapability” scale, according to a shocking lawsuit. Alexandra Drake, of Nashua, NH, alleges that New Boston Police Department Lt. Michael Masella made the frightening comments during her field training as a new police officer in 2013.

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