Boner of the Day

Boner Preview Candidates for November 30, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: AS USUAL INSURANCE TO THE RESCUE.

A Wisconsin man is living with a life-altering condition that’s become debilitating, and without the financial means to get a procedure he desperately needs. Keith Crowell developed “keloids” on his skin about 12 years ago, according to WITI. Keloids are described as a scar composed primarily of collagen. “I had a bad reaction when I went to a barber and he gave me shave and nicked me on both sides,” Crowell said. The nicks didn’t heal. Instead, mounds of skin grew on his face and neck. “It can be devastating. Sometimes I feel real bad,” Crowell said.

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Boner Candidate #2: YEAH, YOU COULD SAY THEY GOT OFF TO A BAD START.

Talk about a blind date from Hell. Saturday night started out with hope and promise for a Walker County woman, but ended abruptly when her date was stopped by lawmen, pushed her from the car and then led deputies on a chase. A Jefferson County sheriff’s deputy just after 8 p.m. on Saturday stopped a Mazda at I-22 and Cherry Avenue, with a male and female inside. The driver – later identified as 22-year-old Jesse Allen Elliot of Hayden – told the deputy that he did not have his license with him but offered a name and date of birth. The deputy returned to his patrol unit to verify the information he was given. It was at that moment, said Chief Deputy Randy Christian, that the woman was pushed from the car and Elliot took off. The deputy pursued the car into Walker County but called off the chase because Elliot was driving erratically and causing danger to other motorists.

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Boner Candidate #3: THE PARKING LOT DEMO DERBY

A parking lot brawl between two women in South Los Angeles quickly escalated into a demolition derby. Dramatic video captured fists flying in an apparent argument over a parking space near the 8400 block of South Western Avenue on Sunday. A number of women were seen fighting when one woman jumped into a white SUV. The driver revved the engine and the video showed her smashing into a silver SUV, nearly taking off the passenger door. The vehicles collide several more times as they maneuver back and forth in the small parking lot.

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Boner Candidate #4: I LET YOU DRINK MY BLOOD BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU OWN ME

Police say a 19-year-old Missouri woman allowed her intoxicated boyfriend to drink her blood, then stabbed the wannabe vampire during a subsequent argument. Victoria Vanatter of Springfield pleaded not guilty Monday to charges of first-degree domestic assault and armed criminal action in the Nov. 23 incident. Police say Vanatter told them she agreed her boyfriend could slice her arm with a box cutter and drink her blood. But then the two argued and Vanatter stabbed her boyfriend in the shoulder. When police arrived at their home, they discovered the bloodied couple and “I’m sorry” inside a heart scrawled in blood on the wall. Vanatter warned an investigator that she has the potential to become a serial killer.

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Boner Candidate #5: SORRY ZUZU YOU’RE OUT

A California family is being hounded on Facebook after they were caught on camera doing their dog dirty — getting her all happy and excited to leave an animal control shelter and then adopting a new four-legged best friend, instead. Heart-wrenching video posted on Monday by a worker at the Los Angeles County Department of Animal Care and Control center in Downey shows the German Shepherd, Zuzu, frantically wagging her tail and barking for joy after spotting her despicable owners. The pooch had gotten loose — hopping the family’s backyard fence and then escaping into their neighbor’s yard — and was picked up by Animal control, according to the worker. Zuzu’s owners arrived at the shelter a short time later, but not to reclaim her like the staff had hoped.

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Boner Candidate #6: THE FUNNY STORY OF THE SWASTIKA CUPCAKES

An Arizona mother said she hopes cruel birthday cupcakes given to her teenage daughter will become a “teachable moment” about the horrors of the Holocaust. Deborah Muller, of Paradise Valley, said her daughter’s 14th birthday party this month included cupcakes that guests were allowed to frost. Two girls, who Muller said are friends of her daughter, decorated cupcakes with chocolate swastikas, even though the birthday girl is Jewish, according to KPNX-TV. Muller said in a now-deleted Facebook post that the girls told her they did it to “be funny.” She said the teens all recently learned about the Holocaust in school, and were aware of the symbol’s meaning. The girls uploaded photos of the swastika cupcake to Snapchat, according to Phoenix New Times.

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