Boner Candidate #1: DUDE. WE’RE TURTLE SURFIN!
These bros “surfing” a turtle on Australia’s Fraser Island could be in quite some trouble, after a picture of the act was shared on Facebook in attempt to find them. It shows the two men, with cans of beer in hand, standing on the animal. “Surfed a tortoise on zee weekend.. gnarly duddddeeeee,” the photo’s caption reads.
Boner Candidate #2: I HAVE A COLLECTION OF BIG FOOT HAIRS.
The head of the University of New Mexico’s Gallup campus is under fire for spending money on Bigfoot-related pursuits. UNM Gallup’s Executive Director Dr. Christopher Dyer organized a two-day, on-campus Bigfoot conference in February followed by a Bigfoot expedition, costing taxpayers more than $7,000, KRQE-TV reported. “It was the largest and most well-attended event in the history of this campus,” Dyer said.
Boner Candidate #3: MISS BUM BUM CONTROVERSY AGAIN
A photo showing the contestants of a Brazilian butt pageant reenacting Leonardo DaVinci’s “The Last Supper” reportedly has some Catholics feeling rather cross. The controversial image was part of a promotional campaign for the upcoming Miss Bumbum Pageant, a contest that annually honors the woman with Brazil’s best bottom. This year’s posterior pageant takes place Nov. 9 in Sao Paulo.
Boner Candidate #4: AH HE WAS JUST KIDDING AROUND
An Old Bridge High School teacher who discussed stripping and prostitution with female students in a photography darkroom last year will get to keep his job, an arbitrator ruled last month. The Old Bridge administration had sought to fire tenured teacher Thomas C. Strassle following allegations, later deemed unfounded, that he offered a female student money in exchange for sex and had sexual contact with her. Those charges were previously dismissed because there was no “competent and reliable evidence,” to support them, arbitrator Melissa Biren wrote in her decision.
Boner Candidate #5: TIE SOME POPSICLE STICKS ON IT. THAT WILL KEEP IT STRAIGHT.
Mangling a man’s penis during a botched illegal surgery will cost a Hialeah woman 40 months behind bars. Nery Carvajal Gonzalez, 39, pleaded guilty on Wednesday for her role in two ill-fated penis enhancement procedures that took place inside a Hialeah warehouse in 2014 and 2015. The plea deal is the latest criminal case involving botched cosmetic surgeries in South Florida, a hub for sham doctors who offer cheap cosmetic procedures performed in homes, warehouses and faux clinics.
Boner Candidate #6: THEY’RE UNEVEN, AREN’T THEY
This topless pic of ‘Real Housewives of Orange County’ star Vicki Gunvalson has triggered an FBI complaint, and the agency is now looking into it … TMZ has learned. The pic was taken in Dublin, Ireland where cast members were on a retreat. Production sources say Tamra Judge took the pic and sent it to other cast members and producers with some snarky comments. Somehow, the photo ended up on the social media account of a 15-year-old girl, who tweeted it out.
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