Boner of the Day

Boner Preview Candidates November 16th, 2015

Boner Preview Candidate #1: THEY PROMISED TO BRING MY GIRLFRIEND BACK

A man who gave a total of $718,000 to two New York City psychics in cash and gifts has come forward with a real doozy of a sad story.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: AND SO WE BROKE OUT ALL THE WINDOWS

The Boone County Sheriff’s Department said Budget Inn-Midway employees were convinced to break out windows after receiving a prank call.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: ISIS IS JUST A GROUP OF MISUNDERSTOOD COMMUNITY ACTIVISTS

A day after terror attacks left hundreds of casualties across Paris, a Democratic candidate for the Minnesota House tweeted, “ISIS isn’t necessarily evil. It is made up of people doing what they think is best for their community. Violence is not the answer, though.” He has since ended his campaign.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: CRUZ IS A JACKASS

On Sunday, Republican presidential candidate and senator Ted Cruz said that Muslim refugees from Syria should not be permitted to enter the United States. Christian refugees, however, are okay, he argued, because there is “no meaningful risk” that Christians will commit terrorist acts.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: THE COPS WERENT DOING A GOOD ENOUGH JOB

A man in a stolen truck tried to run down an officer while attempting to flee police, and a bystander tried to ram the fleeing truck with her vehicle early Sunday, police say.

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Boner Preview Candidate #6: HOW ABOUT FEEDING, CLOTHING, AND PUTTING MY KID THROUGH COLLEGE? THAT WOULD BE A FAIR SETTLEMENT.

More than 100 women who blame their pregnancies on errant birth control packaging have joined a negligence lawsuit filed in Philadelphia against several drug companies.

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