Boners

Boner Preview for January 20th, 2017

Boner Candidate#1: CAN YOU SAY CREEPY?

A British mom is on the defensive after trotting out her daughter for a performance some critics are ripping as “creepy.” Little 7-year-old Xia Vigoa has become an international sensation with her imitation of Taylor Swift and her song “You Belong With Me,” on the Filipino talent show “Your Face Sounds Familiar Kids.” Instant rave reviews have since turned to concern that Xia’s red-lip-stick-pouting, one-shoulder- sequin-dress performance might have been a little too much for a little girl. “As a mother I would not put my child in a position where she would be sexualized… [the programme] is for children,” mom Christy Bernardo told “This Morning” television show Thursday on Great Britain’s ITV. But high-profile critics of the girl’s act have been led by TV pundit Piers Morgan, who has called it “creepy” and “sexualized.”  The mom defended her daughter, calling Morgan “very judgmental” and unfair. “He should know his facts first,” she said. “I thought he’d be more intelligent than that,” she said, the Sun reported. Xia’s performance has become a viral sensation with more than 4.7 million views on the show’s YouTube since Sunday. In the song, Xia comes out in a drum major uniform – a look Swift has used on the concert stage. A team of dancers dressed as cheerleaders then rip off that uniform to reveal Xia dressed in a sparkling, one-shoulder dress. “She’s an extremely smart girl, she’s not a normal 7-year-old,” the girl’s mom said. “She loves to perform.” Xia, who is from Exeter, Devon – is also known for her impersonation of Selena Gomez. Her rendition of “Love You Like a Love Song” has picked up more than 1.8 million views since it was first posted on the “Your Face” YouTube page on Jan. 7

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Boner Candidate#2: YOU WANT THEM TO SETTLE DOWN? SIMPLE…TAPE ‘EM TO THE WALL.

A mother in Ohio who livestreamed taping her toddler to the wall — and later taunted child welfare officials by saying they could come “take him” — has been arrested and charged with felony abduction, police said. Shayla Rudolph, 18, was arrested Thursday after detectives from the Reynoldsburg Police Department got a tip from WSYX in Columbus that she used clear packing tape to restrain her 2-year-old son against the wall. Rudolph also taped the boy’s mouth shut and he apparently was restrained for about 15 minutes, police said. Rudolph was charged with third-degree felony abduction. Her son was taken into custody by Franklin County Children’s Services, police confirmed to The Post. Rudolph, during the Facebook Live video she posted a few weeks ago, is seen standing in front of the boy, who is crying loudly. She then turns to him and says, “You got the best mommy in the whole wide world.” Rudolph, according to WSYX, then explains her rationale for the punishment, speaking directly to the camera: “You can’t clean without them running around tearing up? Tape ‘em to the wall. You can’t cook or none of that because they running around? Tape ‘em to the wall.” Rudolph also threatens to put more tape on the boy, telling him to “sit still” as he is covered in packaging tape. “You can see the TV from right there,” she says. “You be all right.” Officials from the Franklin County Children’s Services visited Rudolph’s home Jan. 5 regarding the video, which she claimed was a joke, WSYX reports.

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Boner Candidate#3: DON’T SHAKE YOUR HEAD AROUND SHERIFF CLARK

Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke has earned a reputation in right-wing circles for his tough talk, but a new complaint claims that he’s so thin-skinned he had a fellow flight passenger detained and questioned for merely shaking his head. His office then took to social media this week to taunt and threaten the Milwaukee resident, who accused Clarke of harassment.  Dan Black said he was on a flight from Dallas to Milwaukee on Sunday when he recognized Clarke and asked if he was indeed the sheriff.  In a complaint filed with the sheriff’s office, Black said he shook his head after Clarke answered yes. Clarke, he claims, then asked if he had a problem.  Black said he shook his head “no” again. “I intentionally did not say anything more to him because I did not want to make a scene or get in trouble as a Milwaukee man did in September when confronting Clarke on an airplane,” Black wrote. “I just moved on and took my seat.” When the flight was over, Black claims six Milwaukee deputies and two dogs were waiting for him. He said he was detained, questioned and then escorted out of the airport.

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Boner Candidate#4: NOTHING LIKE A LITTLE 9/11 SEX JOKE, HEY RUDY?

More than 200 Republican lawyers gathered in a ballroom inside Washington, D.C.’s Four Seasons hotel for a celebratory inaugural luncheon on Thursday with incoming White House Counsel Don McGahn and Rudy Giuliani, Donald Trump’s close advisor and the former mayor of New York City. For $350, attendees got a plate of beef tenderloin, cocktails — and, from Giuliani, an off-color anecdote involving sex, 9/11, a former president, and another man’s wife. Giuliani said it all happened on September 14, 2001, when he rode with former President George W. Bush in a convoy of vehicles to the smoking rubble of the World Trade Center. “In the same car with me was my fire commissioner, Tom Van Essen,” Giuliani said. “And Tom had lost what turned out to be 343 firefighters. And President Bush recognized him from seeing him on television the prior two days. And he leaned over to Tom, grabbed his arm, and said to him, ‘Tom, I’m so sorry. How are things going?’ Tom looked at him and said, ‘Much better now. My wife came home last night and I got lucky.’” “That’s locker room talk,” Giuliani continued. “President Bush remembered that so well that when he saw Tom three weeks later at a fire house dinner, he came up to him and said, ‘Tom, are you still getting lucky?’ And Tom said, ‘No, it’s worn out.’” After 9/11, Giuliani used his new national profile to launch a security company and a failed bid for the presidency. More than 15 years later, the attacks on the World Trade Center remain at the core of his public identity. “To defeat Islamic extremist terrorists, we must put them on defense,” he said, in a fiery speech at the 2016 Republican convention. Later in the campaign, the thrice-married Giuliani defended Trump after the October release of a video where the president-elect brags about how he likes to “grab them [women] by the pussy.” “When you’re a star, they let you do it,” Trump said. “You can do anything.”

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Boner Candidate#5: WHY WOULD SOMEONE WANT TO BE MEAN TO CHRISSY OR HER WONDERFUL HUSBAND? WHY?

Have you always wondered what paparazzi scream at celebrities when they’re at the airport or on the street or coming out of a Starbucks holding a venti coffee and wearing a baseball hat? I’ve assumed that it was some variation of “LOOK OVER HERE!” and “YOU LOOK GREAT/UGLY/PERFECT,” but apparently, if you’re Chrissy Teigen, it’s occasionally racist, vile, trash directed at your husband, John Legend. As she is wont to do, Teigen was merrily tweeting her way through her flight to New York, commenting on plane food and her very wise decision to avoid the shrimp toast first thing in the morning when she also tweeted some shit a pap decided to say to her about her husband: “If we evolved from monkeys, why is John Legend still around?” Her husband was standing next to her. Cool. This inquiry came in the middle of what I assume were some inane questions about Cravings, probably asked at first to partially to exploit the fact that she really does seem like one of the nicest and more genuine celebrities around.

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Boner Candidate#6: THE LIGHT SABER WASN’T MUCH HELP

Two crooks put their hand over a 9-year-old boy’s mouth at a Brooklyn Target store before swiping a wad of cash from his pocket last week, cops said on Thursday. The young victim was shopping in the Target at the Atlantic Terminal Mall on Flatbush Avenue on Jan. 10 around 5:30 p.m., holding what looked to be a toy light-saber, when surveillance video shows him attempting to pick up an item that fell off a shelf. One of the thieves approached him and helped place the item back on the shelf before another man approached and both started chatting with the boy. The video then shows both men going down an elevator with the boy, and cops say they convinced him to go with them to an unspecified location. Outside the Target, one of the suspects placed his hand over the boy’s mouth while the other swiped $282 from his pocket, according to police. Cops say the boy was not injured.

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