Round One
Boner Candidate #1: I’LL SHOW YOU WHAT SECOND PLACE CAN DO.
The coach of a losing Little League team got into a fight with a father from the winning team over comments made during the game’s finale. The incident reportedly was determined to be a mutual fight between the two parties, and no charges have been filed.
Boner Candidate #2: I COULDN’T LEAVE HIM HOME ALONE.
A man has been charged after attempting a robbery with his two-year-old son with him during the incident, according to police. On August 5 around 3:30 a.m., police were dispatched to the All Auto Repairs shop located at 9412 Warwick Boulevard. At the same time, units were across the street at the 7-Eleven with a man in custody on attempted robbery charges. The owner of the auto shop said he had had a burglary alarm go off at his business and the front door had been smashed. Police said their investigation revealed the man in custody for robbery had attempted to burglarize the auto shop at 3 a.m.
Boner Candidate #3: I’M A WHITE CLEAN GIRL
A boozed-up South Carolina woman pulled over for blowing past a stop sign at 60 mph told cops she shouldn’t be arrested because she’s a “very clean, thoroughbred, white girl,” according to a police report. But Lauren Elizabeth Cutshaw’s lecture didn’t convince officers from the Bluffton Police Department — who arrested her on charges of speeding, disregarding a stop sign, simple possession of marijuana, driving under the influence and possession of drug paraphernalia, a police spokesman confirmed to The Post. After getting pulled over at about 1:45 a.m. Saturday near Bluffton and May River roads, where she was spotted speeding through a four-way stop sign, Cutshaw told cops she had had just two glasses of wine, according to the police report obtained by the Island Packet.
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Round Two
Boner Candidate #1: OKAY, BUT A PUPPY PROBABLY WON’T BITE YOUR LEG CLEAN OFF.
Makenzie Nolandis getting ready to graduate from Texas A&M with a degree in Wildlife and Fisheries Sciences and decided to show off her love of animals in her graduation photos. Makenzie spent the past three months interning, and living at Gator Country, an organization that helps rescue and rehabilitate alligators. During her time at Gator Country, she worked with hundreds of gators but clearly had a favorite in Big Tex, a 13’8″ 900-pound behemoth that was brought the alligator sanctuary in 2016 after he became “too friendly” with people. “Tex is the one who let me into his pond. He does pick favorites, and I’m honored he likes me enough to let me get in there and play with him every day,” Noland told Fox News. She explained that she trained the giant reptile, which she likened to a dinosaur, by offering him treats when he followed her commands.
Boner Candidate #2: THERE’S A GIANT SPIDER ON ME!
A Florida woman landed in jail after she allegedly streaked around a park in broad daylight to escape a “giant spider,” according to officials. Police arrested Danielle Teeples, 40, after they discovered her stark naked Sunday afternoon at a public park in St. Petersburg, news station WTFS reported. Officers arrived to find Teeples “acting erratically and rubbing her hair and breasts” as she screamed and ran between two trees, according to a police report. Teeples reportedly refused to get dressed and told officers that she disrobed because there was a “giant spider” on her.
Boner Candidate #3: GENE SIMMONS SAYS HE’S NEVER BEEN TO SPAIN
A statue has been vandalised by someone who appears to be a fan of the band Kiss. They daubed blue paint onto the face of the 12th-century sculpture at Santiage de Compostela cathedral in Spain’s north west region of Galicia. The face is complete with Eric Singer’s whiskers and the word ‘Kiss’ to make sure you don’t make the mistake of thinking the vandal is a cat-lover. The vandal attempted to turn the sculpture into Kiss drummer Eric Singer (picture: SOLARPIX.COM). But the mystery offender might soon live to regret their actions after police launched a public appeal for information. If caught, he or she could be fined up to €150,000 (£133,000) for defacing one of the world’s most famous cathedrals.
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