Boner of the Day

Boner (Round One and Two) For January 4th, 2019

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: MOTHER ALWAYS SAID…GOOD GRAMMAR WAS IMPORTANT,

Two young drug dealers were praised by a judge for the high standard of grammar in their text messages to customers. Teenager Luke Rance bought cannabis in bulk and sold it to 21-year-old Brandon Kerrison for him to deal to people in Gower, South Wales, a court heard. Judge David Hale, who sentenced the pair on Wednesday, noted that the “grammar and punctuation” used in their drug-dealing text messages was of a much better standard than usually seen. Swansea Crown Court heard that officers were on foot patrol in the evening on December 17 last year in Pennard when they passed the village library. Tom Scapens, prosecuting, said the officers entered the car park and could smell cannabis. Nearby they saw Rance and Kerrison. Kerrison, who was smoking a cannabis cigarette, fled but returned a short time later while Rance stayed in the car park with the officers.Two young drug dealers were praised by a judge for the high standard of grammar in their text messages to customers.The court heard the men were searched and 19-year-old Rance was found to have seven bags of cannabis in a rucksack along with a small quantity of cocaine. Kerrison had two bags of herbal cannabis and a mobile phone.

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Boner Candidate #2:THIS WOULD NOT BE A FUN HOLIDAY.

A Louisiana man was arrested Wednesday for posting threats on social media toward police officers — dubbing Jan. 2 “Kill Cops Day,” according to officials. Harlan Cyprian, of Covington, allegedly issued the threats in a Facebook post. Cops say they were alerted Wednesday morning and steps were “immediately taken to ensure the safety” of local law enforcement — including a “long-time and high-ranking” officer that Cyprian specifically named in his post. While investigating the threats, authorities found out that Cyprian was also allegedly involved in a break-in at a local justice center, which happened Monday and involved the use of a pickaxe. He was taken into custody Wednesday and charged with felony terrorizing, simple criminal damage to property and resisting an officer with force or violence.

Boner Candidate #3:WHEN JESUS SAID WE ARE ALL SINNERS, HE REALLY MEANT IT.

Evangelical leader Jerry Falwell Jr. said voters don’t choose a president based on a candidate’s morals, saying that leaders should be elected based on policies. In an interview with The Washington Post published Tuesday, the Liberty University president was pressed about his support for President TrumpDonald John TrumpDOJ declines to take Arpaio fight to Supreme Court Canadian man arrested for trespassing at White House says he wanted to deliver Crown Royal to Trump Graham: Trump giving up on border wall fight would be the ‘end of his presidency’ MORE and asked whether it was “hypocritical” for evangelical leaders to support “a leader who has advocated violence and who has committed adultery and lies often?” “When Jesus said we’re all sinners, he really meant all of us, everybody. I don’t think you can choose a president based on their personal behavior,” Falwell said. “Because even if you choose the one that you think is the most decent — let’s say you decide Mitt RomneyWillard (Mitt) Mitt RomneyGraham: Trump giving up on border wall fight would be the ‘end of his presidency’ Comey defends Romney for ‘calling out’ Trump Romney says niece’s public criticism was more ‘civil’ than it would have been at Thanksgiving dinner MORE. Nobody could be a more decent human being, better family man. But there might be things that he’s done that we just don’t know about,” Falwell continued. “So you don’t choose a president based on how good they are; you choose a president based on what their policies are. That’s why I don’t think it’s hypocritical.”

Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: WHAT’S LACKIN IN THIS SOCIAL MEDIA CHALLENGE IS ANY COMMON SENSE AT ALL.

The infamous “No Lackin’ ” social media challenge has reportedly claimed its first life. Christian Estes-Johnson, 19, was fatally shot by his friend as the pair took part in the idiotic video craze — which involves brandishing a gun on camera in hopes of getting another person to pull out a weapon of their own. The two Houston teens were pointing loaded guns at each other when Este-Johnson’s pal, identified as 18-year-old Mohamed Alajil, accidentally fired off a single shot, according to the Houston Chronicle. The bullet struck Este-Johnson in the head and Alajil immediately fled, later telling his parents and cops that he was simply defending himself after a fight broke out between them. However, prosecutors said he later confessed to playing the “No Lackin’ Challenge.”

Boner Candidate #2: SO WAIT: THE TWO OF YOU HAVE DEATH CLOTHES?

A woman was nearly run over in her own bedroom on Wednesday when an Ohio man plowed through the wall of her apartment in his truck, cops said. Dan Magnuson, 60, sent text messages threatening to “kill and/or cause bodily harm” to the unnamed victim hours before he crashed his pickup truck into her apartment. “He said he was putting on his death clothes and that he was on his way, and for me to get ready and get mine on, because he’s going to kill me,” the woman told WLWT5. The man believed he was in a relationship with the woman and became enraged.

Boner Candidate #3: OMG…SHE HAD FUN DANCING ADORABLY WITH FRIENDS IN HIGH SCHOOL.

We’re all bizarre — some of us are just better at hiding it from Twitter. While Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was being sworn in as a congresswoman, social media was seeing a very different side of her — as footage of the freshman Bronx politician performing the dance from “The Breakfast Club” in her youth went viral online. The clip appearing to show a young Ocasio-Cortez imitating Ally Sheedy’s moves from the iconic 1985 John Hughes flick was spread on Twitter by a critic calling it “High School video” of “America’s favorite commie know-it-all acting like the clueless nitwit she is.” But the dis backfired when it was met with a barrage of sarcastic responses from Twitter users who dug her exuberant rug cutting.

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