Round One
Boner Candidate #1: IT’S THE MOST RACIST PLACE I’VE EVER WORKED…
A network of Utah charter schools is facing backlash over its top administrator’s use of social media, including a February statement that criticized illegal immigration for fueling a drug “scourge.” Students at American Preparatory Academy, or APA, in West Valley City protested last week, partly in response to a since-deleted Facebook post by Carolyn Sharette, executive director of American Preparatory Schools. “Yes let’s offer the dreamers a future,” Sharette wrote, “but let’s not forget the lost futures and dreams of families and young citizens who have been devastated by the drug trade that has been fueled by illegals pouring into our communities.”
Boner Candidate #2: MMMM…I THINK YOU NEED SOME MORE PRACTICE.
A teenager taking her driver’s test crashed through the driver’s examination station before she even got on the road. The driver was not hurt, but a 60-year-old woman working as the license examiner sustained non-critical injuries and the vehicle was significantly damaged. It happened after the teenager put the Equinox in drive instead of reverse at the start of the test, according to the paper. The Star Tribune reported that the 17-year-old crashed a 2014 Chevy Equinox into the building Wednesday afternoon in Buffalo, Minnesota.
Boner Candidate #3: SPICING UP THE LOCAL NEWS
A Texas TV station employee has been fired after a crude audio recording was played in the middle of a live newscast. Viewers of KRIS were in for a shocking surprise on Monday when a report on a new harbor bridge was interrupted by the vulgar clip. The screen suddenly went to black and a man could be heard uttering the words ‘F**k it, lick it, smell it’ on the 9pm news report. X-rated audio clip is accidentally played during news report.
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Round Two
Boner Candidate #1: WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY FACE LOOKS FUNNY?
Suspect first told police the victim was his wife. She wasn’t. An Ocala police officer arrested a man on suspicion of punching a woman at a store on Wednesday night. A Walmart employee told Officer J. L. Gurney that he was sitting in the break room area when he saw the man yelling profanities at the woman. The witness said the verbal abuse continued for several minutes and at the same time the man punched the woman in her face and head. The witness said the man and woman walked to another area of the store and the behavior continued.
Boner Candidate #2: I AM A CENSOR FOR JESUS
When a woman named Brenda Light passed away last month, her son Barry Giles sent an obituary to a local Texas newspaper, the Olton Enterprise. As with any obituary, it mentioned her still-living family members and their spouses, saying in this case, “Those left to cherish her memory include her son, Barry Giles and his husband, John Gambill of Dallas.” When the piece was published, however, John Gambill‘s name was nowhere to be found. That’s because the paper’s publisher, Phillip Hamilton, happens to be a Baptist pastor who thinks same-sex marriages are an abomination.
Boner Candidate #3: MOVE THAT BUTTON. I NEED A BETTER TARGET
A Republican candidate for Kentucky secretary of state tweeted Tuesday what could be construed as a threat to a Democratic congressman. The FBI in Louisville said it was aware of the tweet Carl Nett made about U.S. Rep. John Yarmuth and the agency is working “with our law enforcement partners to determine the best course of action. The FBI takes seriously all threats of violence.” The Republican and Democratic parties condemned Nett’s tweet, which was a response to a Yarmuth tweet on gun control. Yarmuth of Louisville tweeted Monday about his pride in his F rating from the National Rifle Association. Yarmuth, who has been outspoken about Republican Gov. Matt Bevin’s opposition to gun control, posted a photo of Yarmuth wearing an “F” button and invited his colleagues to wear their own F ratings every day “until the GOP finally stands up to the gun lobby and helps pass common sense gun safety legislation.”
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