Boners

Boner (Round One and Two) for October 25th, 2018

ROUND ONE:

BONER CANDIDATE #1: I’LL BE SURPRISED IF GEORGE MAKES IT.

A South Carolina family who adopted a pet deer is asking local hunters not to kill it, according to a Facebook post.The family said they allow “George” to roam freely around their Chester County property and beyond. But as the region gets deeper into hunting season, they felt compelled to alert local hunters, The State reported. “Local Hunters…Please don’t shoot the (7-point deer) with the yellow tape around his antlers,” the post read. “If you see him, its George!” read a post from Kena Lucas Funderburk. “Also, if you happen to see George, shoot us a message and let us know where! Very interested to see how far he travels this season.” The post ended with “#dontshootGeorge.” The family said they adopted the deer after its mother was hit by a car, The State reported. They said the animal formed bonds with their children and their pet dog as it grew older. When it was fully grown, the family allowed the deer to roam freely, even well beyond their property. They said the deer would leave for three to six-month stretches but always returned to their house. Kena said local hunters have responded positively to the family’s message, with most saying, “You’ll get a pass from us.”

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BONER CANDIDATE #2: THE SERIAL DIAPER DUMPER

Authorities say they’ve captured a man suspected of dumping his grandson’s soiled diapers along several New Jersey roadways over the past year. Franklin Township police say an officer acting on a hunch spotted 68-year-old William Friedman leaving a load of diapers in the area of Routes 47 and 40 around 3:15 a.m. Sunday. He was taken into custody after a traffic stop. Friedman allegedly told police the diapers came from his grandson, adding that leaving them around town without getting caught “almost became a game.” Authorities say a motorcyclist crashed in June after running over a diaper Friedman had allegedly dropped. The motorcyclist suffered minor injuries and his bike was totaled. Friedman has been charged with interference with transportation. He faces up to $1,000 in fines.

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BONER CANDIDATE #3: CAN I JUST GET A HUG?

A Texas man on trial in the shooting death of his father made an unusual request after the alleged crime took place, a neighbor testified Tuesday. “He asked for a hug,” Maria Torres told the jury, according to the San Antonio Express-News. Jesse David Vasquez Jr., 44, was fatally shot on April 17, 2016. His 24-year-old son, Jesse David Vasquez III, is charged with the killing. Torres testified that she heard “pops” from the house diagonally across from hers. When she crossed the street to see what happened, she looked inside the house and saw Ann Vasquez, the victim’s wife, attempting CPR on her husband, the newspaper reported. The younger Vasquez was outside the home, appearing “high, kinda nervous and frightened,” the witness said. When she asked why he shot his father, Vasquez shrugged, Torres said. “He said he didn’t regret it, he wasn’t sorry,” she recalled, according to the newspaper. Police arrived, but the father died before he could receive medical attention, according to the report.

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ROUND TWO:

BONER CANDIDATE #1: NEIGHBORHOOD RULES CLEARLY STATE NO LIVESTOCK

A Pensacola woman is helping monarch butterflies fulfill their lifecycle. Krissa White started a butterfly garden in her front yard six years ago. It’s a place where caterpillars and butterflies are nurtured throughout their growing cycle. It’s also the source of a lot of debate in her neighborhood. Krissa White is one of the best friends a monarch butterfly can have. She is a retired teacher with a passion for nature. White says, “We gotta keep them here so we can have a good food source” Her front yard has butterfly-friendly plants and trees. “I have been known to bring them in, help them through their life cycle and once their adults and those wings are flapping I let them fly,” mentioned White. She is also on the do not spray list for mosquitoes in the area. “That prevents the caterpillars and butterflies from dying it’s a horrible, horrible sadness. I do feel like neighbors do think I’m the cause and one other person on the do not spray list for the whole a neighborhood to no get sprayed and that’s erroneous and I would like that corrected,” said White. White goes out of her way to help the colorful creatures, which have been declining in population throughout the years.

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BONER CANDIDATE #2: I USED TO HAVE A GUN LIKE THAT

A man accused of shooting his 86-year-old father in the back was arrested by Unified police Monday. But it wasn’t until the elderly man was checked out by doctors at the hospital that police learned he had been shot. On Monday, the Sandy Fire Department was called to a home near 900 East and 9700 South. “The initial complaint was that a male had been working on an electrical breaker box when he was shocked and fell causing an unknown injury,” according to a Salt Lake County Jail report. Paramedics noticed what appeared to be a puncture wound in the man’s upper right back, the report states. But after he was taken to Intermountain Medical Center, “medical staff at the hospital found a bullet inside the puncture wound,” according to the report. The man was last listed in critical condition, said Unified Police Lt. Melody Gray.  Once the bullet was discovered, Unified police went back to the house to conduct an investigation. Detectives found a shell casing on the stairs leading from the basement to the back door and blood, according to the report. When officers searched the room of the victim’s son, 53-year-old Dwayne Breese, they found a .22-caliber handgun under the bed and two boxes of ammunition, the report states. Breese denied shooting his father, and stated “that he used to have a gun like the one found, though he stated he hasn’t seen his gun in 25 years,” according to the report. Gray said Wednesday a motive for the shooting was unknown.

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BONER CANDIDATE #3: JUST BOBBIN FOR APPLES MATE…WHERE’S THE HARM IN THAT?

Students bobbed for apples in a mixture of booze and urine as part of a drink-fuelled initiation ceremony where a British student died, an inquest heard.First-year economics student Ed Farmer, 20, died after being found slumped in a corridor not breathing at the end of a student society’s night out in Newcastle in 2016. Although he was rushed to the hospital, he died the next day with his parents at his bedside. During the initiation, freshmen had their heads shaved by older students and drank vodka from a pig’s head after visiting bars in the city center. The inquest previously heard that 100 treble vodkas were consumed by the 40-strong group in just seven minutes at one of the stops on the undergraduate bar crawl. CCTV footage shown to the inquest showed Ed being carried by two friends in a Metro station at one point in the evening because he was too drunk to walk. He was later discovered not breathing at around 4 a.m. by the chairman of the Agricultural Society, James Carr, and driven to the hospital. The court was told that if Ed had been taken to hospital sooner, he may have been saved. Newcastle University had banned boozy initiations, leading to one student suggesting that others should deny knowledge of the ceremony in which Ed died.

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