Boners

Boner (Round One) for April 11th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: HOLD MY BEER

Connecticut police say a man wearing a T-shirt that said “Hold My Beer And Watch This” has been arrested for driving under the influence after he crashed into a graveyard. The Hartford Courant reports state police say 25-year-old Woodstock resident Harrison Wootton crashed his car into a graveyard’s low stone wall in Putnam early Monday. A mug shot shows Wootton wearing a black shirt with “Hold My Beer And Watch This” printed on the front. Police say Wootton was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs, failing to drive in the proper lane and misuse of plates.

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Boner Candidate #2: DID THE DOG EVER GET A WALK?

A family argument over who would walk the dog turned deadly when a dad shot and killed his son during a wild shootout Sunday in Chicago, police said. Bullets flew at the South Woodlawn Avenue home in the city’s Burnside neighborhood around 8:20 p.m. after the dispute broke out between the men, ages 43 and 22, the Chicago Tribune reported.  The double shooting was the result of a “fight [between] father & son as to who was going to walk the dog. Both shot at each other,” Chicago Police Department spokesman Anthony Guglielmi tweeted.

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Boner Candidate #3: CRIKEY! A TASTY DINNER BEFORE A SWIM

The man consumed a “significant” amount of seafood and alcohol then ran out without paying, police in Australia allege. A 33-year-old man ate two lobsters, downed 17 vodka oyster shots and six Coronas at a restaurant on Australia’s Gold Coast before dodging the bill and running into the surf, police allege. He allegedly stole another six-pack of beer from the Surfers Paradise restaurant before police on jet skis arrested him on Sunday afternoon. Staff from the Omeros Brothers Seafood Restaurant chased the man after he allegedly fled the restaurant and dived into the ocean at Main Beach.

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