Boners

Boner (Round One) for October 23rd, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: I HATE TO USE THE “Q” WORD, BUT WHAT CAN WE DO?

A Georgia state representative — who is also an anesthesiologist and the wife of the former federal Health and Human Services secretary — asked at a public hearing Tuesday about the legality of quarantining HIV patients to stop the spread of the virus that causes AIDS. “What are we legally able to do?” Dr. Betty Price, a Republican, asked Dr. Pascale Wortley, director of the HIV/AIDS Epidemiology Surveillance Section at the Georgia Department of Public Health. “I don’t want to say the ‘quarantine’ word, but I guess I just said it. … What would you advise, or are there any methods, legally, that we could do that would curtail the spread?”

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Boner Candidate #2: IS THAT A T-BONE IN YOUR PANTS?

Police are searching for a man who dropped three T-bone steaks down his shorts. Officers were dispatched at 8:40 p.m. Friday to Groceryland, 1451 Troy St. in Dayton to a report of a theft. The store manager told police he was walking down the meat aisle when he became suspicious by the behavior of a man talking to another customer. The manager later saw the man run out the front entrance. He ran after him, but lost sight of him after he went behind the store, according to a Dayton police report. The manager showed police surveillance video footage, which shows the thief grab three T-bone steaks, which each cost between $10 and $20. Then, in a different aisle, the suspect places the steaks down his shorts, the report stated.

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Boner Candidate #3: DID WE LEAVE OUT ANYTHING OFFENSIVE?

The Snapchat had just about every offensive topic the middle school students could cram into a video clip: race-based simulated sexual assaults, profanity-laced slurs and repulsive language that shocked whoever the intended audience was — and, eventually, many more people. In a flash, the Short Pump Middle School football team’s sexual and racist video clip has rocketed nationwide, the latest reminder that internet posts can have enduring, devastating effects in the real world. In this case, those consequences were swift: According to the Associated Press, the rest of the team’s season has been canceled; police are investigating the students seen in the video; and the whole team — now the face of a viral video — has to undergo sensitivity training.

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