Boner of the Day

Boner (Round Two) for August 16th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: IT’S ALL LINCOLN’S FAULT

The Lincoln Memorial in Washington was struck by vandals who left an expletive scrawled in red paint Tuesday morning, according to the National Park Service.One of the memorial’s columns was spray-painted with red words that appeared to say “fuck law.” The graffiti was discovered around 4.30 a.m., the Park Service said in a statement, adding that a “mild, gel-type architectural paint stripper that is safe for use on historic stone” was being used to remove the scrawl.

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Boner Candidate #2: SO ARE THE MISSLES ON THEIR WAY OR NOT

Horrified residents of Guam were awoken early Tuesday to emergency alerts of an imminent threat – only to find out the warnings were sent out by accident. Two of the island’s radio stations, a music station and Christian network, blared an emergency civil danger warning at 12:25 a.m. alerting listeners to an unspecified danger, the Guardian reported. The warning, issued in the event of an imminent military strike or terrorist attack, lasted 15 minutes.

Boner Candidate #3: WHAT WE DO AT HOME IS OUR BUSINESS

An Ohio elementary school teacher faces charges after she let kids trip on acid inside her home, according to officials. Amy Panzeca, 48, of Springboro, entered a not guilty plea Tuesday to permitting drug abuse, endangering children and contributing to the delinquency of a minor, news station WKEF reported. Panzeca, who is a fifth grade teacher at Five Points Elementary School, knew that her son was selling acid, but did nothing to interfere with his drug dealing, authorities said. She also was allegedly aware they would do the drug at home.

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