Boner of the Day

Boner (Round Two) for August 25th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: I CAN’T COME TO WORK; I GOT THE CANCER

A Colorado postal worker who faked cancer to skip work has been convicted of fraud, according to a report. Caroline Boyle, 60, was slammed with a $10,000 fine and ordered to pay $20,798.38 in restitution to the US Postal Service, Colorado’s 9 News reported. Starting in 2015, Boyle told her colleagues that cancer was attacking her white blood cells and ravaging her immune system and that she was too weak to come to work. She faked doctor’s notes saying she had non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma and used them to justify taking large amounts of sick leave for about 20 months.

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Boner Candidate #2: JUST TAKE ME TO JAIL

A Florida woman told police officers to take her to jail after they stopped her on suspicion of driving under the influence while taking her daughter home from school. Lady Lake police tell WKMG TV in Orlando that multiple people called 911 Tuesday afternoon to report a vehicle swerving and driving erratically. An officer stopped 34-year-old Annette Nesbitt, who couldn’t provide her ID, registration or proof of insurance. An arrest affidavit says Nesbitt had just picked the child up from school. When the officer asked if she saw a problem driving erratically with her child in the car, she said, “I’m a terrible, horrible mom.”

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Boner Candidate #3: YOU CAN’T BE A CHEERLEADER IF YOU CAN’T DO THE SPLITS

Extremely disturbing video taken at a Denver high school has prompted a child abuse investigation after several girls were allegedly forced into splits during cheerleading practice, despite them screaming out in pain. One of the videos that local station 9News reported was filmed at East High School in June shows several girls holding out another student’s legs and arms as a coach appears to push down on her. “I can’t! I can’t! Please stop! Please stop!” the girl repeatedly cries out before the man assisting in the maneuver, appearing frustrated, finally pulls her up and places her down on a nearby mat. Kirsten Wakefield, whose daughter is the one seen crying in the video, told CBS Denver that her child suffered a burst blood vessel from the forced maneuver and that she continues to undergo physical therapy.

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