Boner Candidate #1: WE HAVE A POLICY…NO DOGS
It was 10 p.m. on Sunday when Gillian Parker and her husband Phillip got the call telling them that a mandatory evacuation order had been issued in the area of their New Territory, Texas, home due to the rising floodwaters of Hurricane Harvey. The call took the Parkers by surprise given that forecasts had predicted waterfall would be 4-5 ft. below the southwest Houston neighborhood’s levees. But the couple, their 16-year-old daughter Allison Parker and her 81-year-old grandmother Sylvia Parker still packed what they could — splitting four adults and their three dogs between two cars and rushing for safety.
Boner Candidate #2: IT WAS PROBABLY THE TEQUILA
Words cannot describe the feeling some parents got watching a video of their children riding on a school bus driven by an alleged drunk driver. “Oh my God, did you see the bus the way it’s swerving?” parent Katrina Drlik asked WGCL. “Oh my God, that car had to literally go on the grass.” Dash cam video shows Carole Ann Etheridge crossing the center line into oncoming traffic several times as children on board screamed in their seats. At one point, Etheridge stopped in the middle of the road, and she even missed the main entrance to the middle school, telling students she wasn’t feeling well. “It’s hard not to go into tears right now. It’s hard to imagine what these kids went through,” Drlik said. Students contacted their parents, who then notified the school system.
Boner Candidate #3: I THINK I GOT SOME BAD METH HERE
A Montana woman called 911 to report that she had purchased some “bad meth,” adding that the drug left a “bad taste in her mouth,” according to police. A Great Falls Police Department officer was dispatched Friday afternoon to the home of Margery Ann Dayrider, 33, who had dialed cops to report having a bad reaction to meth she had injected. As detailed in a probable cause affidavit, Dayrider told Officer Jon Marshall that she “believed she got some bad meth and was having a bad reaction to it, vomiting, tingling tongue, bad taste in her mouth.” As first reported by the Great Falls Tribune, Dayrider told the cop, “I do meth three times a day everyday and have never had this reaction before.” Dayrider said that she and her boyfriend had purchased the drug the night before and that she injected herself at 9 AM, 11 AM, and 3 PM.
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