Boner of the Day

Boner (Round Two) for December 6th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: MY BIG PROBLEM IS THAT HE’S A TEACHER AND HE MISSPELLED “FLEA”

A middle school teacher has been placed on administrative leave after he allegedly typed out an inappropriate message to students this week. “Silent reading …I want to kill children but I am a loving Christian man who never would hurt a flee so please sit down and read,” the 8th grade teacher at Otho E. Stuart Middle School in Commerce City, Colorado allegedly wrote. The school district says they are investigating the incident and says that students were not in danger, and the school’s principal, Fabricio Velez, wrote this letter to parents: “I wanted to make you aware of an incident that took place yesterday during Connect 21 (last period of the day) in Mr. Burghart’s class. It was reported to me by a parent last night that Mr. Burghart had a message projected on the board that frighten some of our Raptors. We started this investigation last night and and have continued our investigation throughout the day today.

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Boner Candidate #2: DON’T TOUCH MY ARM; I’M HETEROSEXUAL.

State Rep. Daryl Metcalfe told a Democratic male colleague to stop touching his arm Tuesday during a House committee meeting because he’s heterosexual and then urged the Democrat to look to people in his own party if he wanted to touch men. “I’m a heterosexual. I have a wife. I love my wife. I don’t like men, as you might,” Metcalfe, R-Cranberry, told Rep. Matthew Bradford, D-Montgomery County, during a State Government Committee meeting. “But don’t — stop touching me all the time,” Metcalfe continued. “It’s like, keep your hands to yourself. Like if you want to touch somebody, you have people on your side of the aisle that might like it. I don’t.”

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Boner Candidate #3: WELL, THERE YOU ARE.

Police say a Pennsylvania man hiding from police in the crawl space of his girlfriend’s home fell through the ceiling directly in front of an officer. Police were searching the Scranton home Sunday for 29-year-old Justin Thompson, who was wanted on charges of assault and harassment. The (Scranton) Times-Tribune reports that officers found Thompson in the crawl space and tried to grab him. He was able to get away, but then plunged into the kitchen, where an officer was waiting. Police say there were children nearby when Thompson fell, leading to a charge of endangering the welfare of children. He also picked up charges of resisting arrest and reckless endangerment.

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