Boners

Boner (Round Two) for June 21st, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: DON’T MAKE ME DROP THIS BABY.

An Algerian court has sentenced a man to two years in the slammer for dangling an infant out of a window in Algiers to attract “likes” on Facebook. He wrote, “1,000 likes or I will drop him” – prompting a backlash from users who demanded his arrest for child abuse, the BBC reported. The man held the child from a 15th-floor apartment, news site Al Arabiya reported. But the man, a relative of the child, denied putting the baby at risk, saying the photo had been altered, Algeria’s privately owned Ennahar TV reported.

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Boner Candidate #2: I’M GONNA NEED A BIG, BIG MOUSETRAP.

Fearing that “the drug dealer across the street” and a woman who runs a “house of prostitution next door” were stealing his letters, a 63-year-old Floridian put a mousetrap in his mailbox. According to the Smoking Gun, Nicholas Dibble thought the thieving was in response to him calling the cops on his neighbors over suspected criminal activity around his Bradenton, Fla., neighborhood. Naturally, Dibble went about setting a trap inside the mailbox at the end of his driveway, raising the flag to falsely indicate a delivery of a less painful sort had been made. Florida man called 911 to get a ride to Hooters. Speaking to authorities after a 37-year-old mail carrier got her hand stuck in the device, he explained, “Well, it caught the wrong person.”

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Boner Candidate #3: I’VE GOT SOME DUCT TAPE WITH YOUR NAME ON IT.

A 4-year-old girl who refused to settle down on her cot during preschool nap time was bound with duct tape at a church-run center in suburban St. Louis, according to a lawsuit filed by the girl’s parents. The lawsuit against Zion Lutheran Learning Center in Valley Park, Missouri, alleges the school disciplined but didn’t fire the teacher who allegedly taped the child’s legs together, and that a supervisor laughed off the incident. The suit seeks unspecified damages in excess of $25,000. The church said an email to The Associated Press on Tuesday that it doesn’t comment on pending litigation. The suit alleges Laura Day was giving her daughter a bath at their home in March when the child began talking about what happened at school a few days earlier. The girl said a teacher told her, “I have some shiny red duct tape with your name on it,” according to the lawsuit. The girl said the teacher used the tape to tie her legs together, and that another teacher told her the tape would be removed once she “behaved.”

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