Boner Candidate #1: WHO ARE THEY GOING TO BELIEVE?
An Uber driver in Texas claims a Dallas prosecutor threatened to accuse him of kidnapping her during a drunken rant, telling him: “Who are they going to believe? I’m a district attorney.” Shaun Platt, 26, told the Dallas Morning News that he was also slapped and berated by Dallas County Assistant District Attorney Jody Warner, 32, as he drove her home late Friday after picking her up at Capitol Pub in Old East Dallas. Warner appeared intoxicated, according to Platt, who said he started asking her about the upcoming holiday season but noticed something was off. The situation took a bad turn when Warner told Platt to change his GPS-directed route and he got lost. “I said, ‘Should I make a left up here?’ and she refused to answer me,” Platt told the newspaper. “She said, ‘You can follow the [expletive] GPS’ and she became increasingly angry, even though I was just trying to get her home.”
Boner Candidate #2: I’M HERE!
A New Jersey attorney nude from the waist down save for a pair of high heels strutted into a stranger’s Rutherford home and announced “I’m here,” police said. Justin Christodoro, 39, of Hackensack, subsequently was arrested in neighboring Lyndhurst on Saturday after a resident returned home to find an unknown car with an unconscious man inside parked in his driveway, NorthJersey.com reports. “It was occupied by a man sitting in the front passenger seat wearing only a black shirt and black high-heeled shoes,” Lyndhurst police Capt. John Valente told the website. A cop from Rutherford who responded to the scene as backup recognized the man’s clothing as being similar to a report from an earlier incident at a home on Eastern Way.
Boner Candidate #3: PIG IN THE BATHROOM….LITERALLY
A South Carolina mom has been arrested after her 4-year-old daughter was found living in filthy conditions at their home, where a pig lived in the bathroom, according to reports. Hannah Marie Hvolboll, 25, of Union was nabbed and charged with unlawful child neglect Friday after police were called to the home to assist EMS with a “combative patient,” FOX Carolina reported. When an officer entered the home, he immediately was hit with a strong smell of ammonia and spotted puddles of dog urine all over the floor. After learning that a child lived at the home, police searched the residence, discovering mold, mice droppings, glass pipes for smoking marijuana and a pig living in the bathroom, according to the news outlet.
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