Boners

Boners for January 24th, 2018

Round One

 

Boner Candidate #1: THE KIDS NEED TO KNOW THESE THINGS.

A Jacksonville school is apologizing to parents after a song about drugs was played at an elementary school dance. Action News Jax started looking into parents’ concerns after a mother sent video to our newsroom of the song “Gucci Gang” by Lil Pump being played at a dance on Friday at Pickett Elementary School.  These are the lyrics of the song:

“My ***** love do cocaine, ooh
I **** a *****, I forgot her name
I can’t buy a ***** no wedding ring”

Read More

Boner Candidate #2: AN APOLOGY IS NOT ENOUGH.

An exotic dancer was sentenced to 15 years in prison for killing her rival in a strip club brawl, according to reports. Rinita Linell Lowe, 25, pleaded guilty Monday to first-degree manslaughter for a June 2016 stabbing at Club Skinn in Portland, Oregon, according to Oregon Live. Prosecutors said there was a history of bad blood between Lowe and the victim, Shantina Turner, whom she knew since childhood. Lowe, then 23, arrived at Club Skinn the night of the stabbing after completing a shift as a dancer at Tommy Too’s strip club.

Read More

Boner Candidate #3: SPLITTING UP THE TWINS

Ethan and Aiden Dvash-Banks are toddler twins who share almost everything: the same toys, the same nursery, the same clothes and the same parents. Everything but a toothbrush and US citizenship. To remedy what their parents, a gay married couple, view as an injustice, Ethan Dvash-Banks became a plaintiff at the tender age of 16 months in a federal lawsuit against the US State Department that seeks the same rights his brother has as a citizen. “What we’re trying to do is pursue justice for Ethan,” said Elad Dvash-Banks, his biological dad, “and correct a wrong that the State Department is continuing to pursue that might affect other couples.”

Read More

[polldaddy poll=9924840]

 

Round Two

 

Boner Candidate #1: I WAS MOTIVATING THE KIDS TO RUN FASTER.

A physical education teacher was caught stripping naked and chasing children around a playground in a bizarre video circulating online. Parents are outraged after footage surfaced of the Carthay Center Elementary School teacher exposing himself to nearby second-grade and fifth-grade students Friday on the Los Angeles campus, news station KCAL reported. The video was reportedly captured by a construction worker who started filming the man, who was not identified, as he put his pants back on in the middle of the playground. “He was supposed to be helping them learn P.E., run around and have fun,” a parent told KCAL. “But he undressed and started chasing the kids while he was naked, and then the kids ducked and dodged, ran into some of the classrooms and got safe haven that way.”

Read More

Boner Candidate #2: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN YOUR OWN HOUSE?

A Missouri man is accused of choking his neighbor to death after mistaking the man’s home for his own and thinking he was an intruder. Michael Augustine, 43, was charged with involuntary manslaughter in the death of 60-year-old Clifton King, news station WDAF reported. Police said Augustine entered King’s Raytown residence on Friday and called 911 to report an intruder after he encountered King. When authorities arrived, they found no one at Augustine’s home, which is a block away from King’s. Officers searched the area and found Augustine, who appeared to be intoxicated, on top of the victim on the neighbor’s front lawn, the Kansas City Star reported.

Read More

Boner Candidate #3: SHE WAS MY SOUL MATE

U.S. Rep. Pat Meehan acknowledged Tuesday that he had a deep “affection” for a younger aide and told her last year that he saw her as “a soul mate,” but said he never pursued a romantic relationship with the woman and, despite paying her a secret settlement, denied her claims of sexual harassment. Meehan, a Delaware County Republican, also said that he initially reacted “poorly” when he found out that the longtime aide, decades younger, had begun a serious relationship with another man and might leave his office. He released a heartfelt letter he wrote to her in May in which he wished her well, thanked God “for putting you into my life,” and signed it, “With all my heart, Patrick.” His comments in an interview with the Inquirer and Daily News were his first extensive response to a report Saturday that he used thousands of taxpayer dollars to quietly settle the harassment claim brought by the former aide.

Read More

[polldaddy poll=9924843]

To Top