Boners

Boners (Rounds One and Two) for April 3rd, 2018

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: WE WERE TRYING TO ECONOMIZE

Up to 30 people may have been exposed to a used needle during blood sugar tests conducted at a community event in Toronto last month, the city’s public health authority said Monday as it urged those affected to see a doctor as a precaution. Needles were “not consistently changed between clients” during the free tests at the March 25 health fair organized by the Vision Infinite Foundation, a Bangladeshi-Canadian community group, said Dr. Herveen Sachdeva, an associate medical officer with Toronto Public Health. There is a very low chance of blood-borne viruses, such as hepatitis B and C and HIV, being transmitted by re-using a lancet — a fine needle typically used to prick the skin and take small amounts of blood — but Toronto Public Health has called and written to everyone who had their glucose levels checked at the fair, recommending they get blood tests as a precaution, Sachdeva said. “Toronto Public Health will receive the results of those who present for follow up with this testing … and this will help us understand whether any illness may have been associated with this event although the risk is very low,” she added. A woman who attended the fair held at a community centre in Toronto’s east end told organizers during the event that she had seen testers re-use a lancet, Vision Infinite director Shahid Khandker said. Organizers immediately shut down the testing station, which was run by pharmacy staff from a nearby Shoppers Drug Mart, and called paramedics who in turn notified Toronto Public Health, he added. “For the future, whether the pharmacy is given the opportunity (to participate again) or not, there are going to be more precautionary measures for sure,” Khandker said of including blood tests at other Vision Infinite events.

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Boner Candidate #2: HE WAS UNDER MY CUSTODY

An Arizona mother has been charged after using a Taser to get her teenage son up for an Easter Sunday church service, according to police. Investigators arrested 40-year-old Sharron Dobbins, of Phoenix, Sunday morning and booked her into jail on a felony child abuse charge, according to Maricopa County court documents. Dobbins is accused of using the stun gun on her 16-year-old son’s left leg. “Ms. Dobbins stated that she only sparked the Taser to get the kids up for church on Easter and that she never Tased anyone,” the arresting officer wrote in an arrest report obtained by KPHO. Another of Dobbins’ sons, 17, and an 18-year-old nephew witnessed the incident, according to the document. The 16-year-old did not complain of any pain but had two small bumps on his leg where Dobbins allegedly shocked him.

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Boner Candidate #3: CAN YOU DRIVE A STICK?

Teens not even old enough to drive stole a pizza delivery man’s car, but couldn’t figure out the manual transmission. Isaac Javier Ortez has delivered pizza for 13 years. Ortez experienced a career first Thursday. He was delivering pizza on Vermont Street just off of Bonita Beach Road. “They came out and say we no order any pizza, but when they tell me that I hear my car in the driveway make a big noise,” Ortez said. Ortez ran to his car, which he left running, and found two masked teens inside. “When they go back to get the first gear, they cannot drive,” Ortez said. Ortez said the kid criminals couldn’t figure out the manual transmission. The teens left the car in neutral, jumped out and ran. Deputies quickly caught 13-year-old Miguel Garcia and 14-year-old Rojelio Sebastian. “They look like little kids. I say they look like babies,” Ortez said. Ortez’s boss is now giving him an extra order for his next delivery.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: WE FOUND UNUSUAL STRUCTURAL MODIFICATIONS

Police say a custodian at a Massachusetts high school has been arrested after what were described as “unusual structural modifications” were found in a girls bathroom. Northampton Police Chief Jody Kasper says 22-year-old Michael Kremensky was arrested late last week on four counts of photographing an unsuspecting nude person. Kremensky, who has worked at Northampton High School since August, was previously placed on leave. Kasper says several holes were found in the ceiling of a girls’ bathroom. Police inspected all other bathrooms, locker rooms and changing areas in the school and did not find anything suspicious. The investigation is ongoing.

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Boner Candidate #2: I GET SLEEPY AFTER A BIG MEAL

Parsippany-Troy Hills Police Patrol Officers C. Dottino and L. Nicos responded to the parking lot of Foodtown, 435 North Beverwyck Road for someone possibly using CDS in a red Acura MDX, at 5:34 p.m. on Sunday, March 25. Upon their arrival, officers located the vehicle parked and partial obstructing a handicap parking space in the front of the parking lot. They were also advised by the Parsippany Police Department’s Communication Center that another caller reported an intoxicated male, later identified Kenneth Milesky, 30, Lake Hiawatha, had stumbled into Foodtown. Officers located Mr. Milesky near the deli area laying on the ground, with a partially consumed chicken breast laying on his chest. After they woke him up and spoke to him, they detected the odor of an alcoholic beverage on his breath. Mr. Milesky was placed under arrest and transported to Saint Clare’s Hospital by Rockaway Neck First Aid Squad due to his level of intoxication. He was subsequently charged with Driving While Intoxicated, Reckless Driving and Obstructing an Handicap Space.

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Boner Candidate #3: I PAID 50 BUCKS A NIGHT FOR THAT PLACE!

Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Scott Pruitt faces mounting pressure to resign amid ballooning scandals over his spending habits and a sweetheart deal to rent a Capitol Hill condominium linked to a gas industry lobbyist. A coalition of environmental groups last Wednesday launched a website called BootPruitt.com and offered a series of Op-Eds lambasting him as part of the first coordinated campaign to oust the administrator. On Thursday, Rep. Don Beyer (D-Va.) called for Pruitt to resign. And on Sunday, former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R), whose so-called “Bridgegate” scandal over politically motivated lane closures on the George Washington Bridge helped tank his presidential ambitions, became the first major Republican to call out the ethical concerns over Pruitt’s rental. “I don’t know how you survive this one, and if he has to go, it’s because he never should have been there in the first place,” Christie said on ABC News’ “This Week.” Pruitt has come under scrutiny over his accommodations in Washington after ABC News reported last week that he rented a room in a luxury townhouse co-owned by the wife of a top gas industry lobbyist. That same day, Bloomberg News reported that Pruitt paid $50-a-night for the room, well below market value for a place in that neighborhood. The EPA’s Office of General Counsel issued a hasty memo on Thursday arguing that the administrator paid a fair rate.

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