Boners

The Boner Preview for January 10th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: MAYBE TETHER HIM IN A STALL FOR HOURS WITHOUT FOOD OR WATER.

A Denver police officer has been punished for leaving his horse without food or water before it became sick and had to be put down. A disciplinary report released Monday says Officer Joseph Teeter didn’t mean to harm the horse, named MC Hammer, when he left it unattended for 16 hours in September. The report says the officer became distracted while doing paperwork and forgot he had tied the horse in a stall in the department barn. The horse seemed fine when it was fed the next morning but later was diagnosed with colic and euthanized. The report says a veterinarian could not tell if the horse became sick as a result of being left without food or water. Teeter was docked one vacation day. The report says he was remorseful.

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Boner Candidate #2: MAYBE YOU COULD HAVE OFFERED TO HELP HER INSTEAD?

A local pastor is taking heat on social media after posting a video to Facebook that gained more than one million views. Sunday night, Pastor Lamond Rushing is apologizing to the handicapped woman it offended. FOX 4’s Molly Balkenbush spoke to that woman and the pastor. That video had more than 11,000 shares before Pastor Lamond removed it from Facebook, after our interview with him. Hundreds of people in the comments mercilessly mocked the woman in the video, while hundreds of others shamed the pastor for posting it. Becky Kittrell said the battery died on her power wheelchair Saturday and she was left freezing in Kansas City’s dangerously cold weather. “If I get stuck for a period of time and stuff, I get so cold I’ll be like, ‘I have to get home,” Becky explained.

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Boner Candidate #3: WITH THE SWORD OF MORALITY HELD HIGH IT’S CHAFFETZ TO THE RESCUE.

After the D.C. council approved the bill 11 to 2 in November, Washington Mayor Muriel Bowser signed the “Death with Dignity Act” into law late last month. The legislation would allow doctors to help end the lives of terminally ill patients in the city—that is, if it weren’t subject to the approval of congressmen like Jason Chaffetz. This week, the Utah representative promised to use Congress’ seldom invoked but absolute authority over Washington, D.C., to block the assisted suicide law, which he said he fundamentally disagreed with, according to The Washington Post. “Assisted suicide is not something we take lightly,” Chaffetz, who chairs the committee that oversees the city’s laws, told reporters at a press conference on Monday. Since 1994, six states have allowed terminally ill, mentally competent adults to self-administer lethal medication prescribed by a doctor. All of those states, of course, are free to pass their own legislation, but all laws in the our nation’s capital must be approved by Congress, where the district doesn’t have a seat.

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Boner Candidate #4: OH PHARMA BRO, WHEN WILL YOU JUST GO AWAY?

Martin Shkreli, the former Turing Pharmaceuticals executive who became known as “Pharma Bro” after he dramatically hiked the price of a drug, was suspended from Twitter on Sunday afternoon. A person at Twitter who is familiar with the matter but declined to be quoted directly confirmed that Shkreli’s suspension was related to his harassment of journalist Lauren Duca. Duca, a freelance journalist, recently wrote a viral op-ed for Teen Vogue titled “Donald Trump is gaslighting America.” During a combative appearance on Tucker Carlson’s Fox News show just before Christmas, Carlson told Duca that she should stick to writing about “thigh-high boots,” and Duca told Carlson that he was “unprofessional” and a “partisan hack.” The exchange resulted in her receiving thousands of angry messages, including a rape threat on Christmas Day.

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Boner Candidate #5: SORRY. I DROPPED IT WHEN I WAS WORKING OUT ON THE OVERPASS.

Oldmans Township, N.J. • New Jersey State Police say a 50-pound dumbbell crashed through the windshield of an SUV, injuring the driver. Troopers are trying to determine where the dumbbell came from when it crashed through the vehicle’s windshield at about 7:30 a.m. Monday as 75-year-old Jack DeCarlo, of Hamilton Township, Mercer County, was driving south on the New Jersey Turnpike near Oldmans Township. Authorities say DeCarlo was conscious when he was flown to a hospital. He was in serious condition Monday afternoon. Other details weren’t released on his injuries. Authorities say the dumbbell may have come from another vehicle or been thrown over one of the two overpasses near the site. DeCarlo’s wife, Patricia, was in the car with him, but was not injured.

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Boner Candidate #6: WE DON’T TIP BLACK PEOPLE!

Waitress Kelly Carter said a couple had written on the receipt: “Great service don’t tip black people.” Owner Tommy Tellez told BBC News the response has been “phenomenal”. People have been dropping by the restaurant to give Ms Carter cash, Mr Tellez said, and a YouCaring campaign has raised over $300 (£245) for her. Her regular customers have been dropping by to give her hugs. Tipping is customary in the US, where restaurant servers often earn less than the minimum wage, with tips supposed to make up the difference in pay. The white couple who left the note appeared to be in their mid-20s, and left after spending $30.52 (£25) on food. Ms Carter told local media that one of the diners had even complimented the breakfast she served them on Saturday.

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