Boners

Boner Fight for November 15th, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: THE DEMONS WANT YOU TO BE SUPPLE AND HEALTHY

A pastor of an Assemblies of God megachurch recently took aim at yoga, saying it has “demonic roots” and warning Christians to avoid the popular activity. Pastor John Lindell told the attendees of James River Church in Ozark, Missouri — which has a congregation of about 10,500, according to a 2016 report — that the positions in yoga were “created with demonic intent to open you up to demonic power because Hinduism is demonic.” Members of nearby Springfield’s yoga community are now speaking out. A Christian yogi says his practice has brought him closer to God and wants others to know that it’s possible to do sun salutations while following Christ. One owner of a yoga studio said she’s worried that small local businesses are being hurt. An instructor, feeling on edge after a shooting at a Florida yoga studio Nov. 2, can’t shake a fear that someone might take the church’s anti-yoga message too far.

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Boner Candidate #2: OH THAT’S RIGHT…I HAVE ANOTHER KID

A 4-year-old girl whose mother was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving early Tuesday was found crying in her family’s van hours after it was towed to the city’s tow lot. The girl had been in the van about eight hours before a tow lot operator heard her crying. The girl’s mother was pulled over around midnight by Milwaukee police on suspicion of drunken driving near South 39th Street and West Oklahoma Avenue, City Engineer Jeff Polenske said. A 10-month-old baby was taken out of the vehicle but the mother apparently didn’t mention the 4-year-old. Vehicles should be “thoroughly searched” at the scene prior to being towed, under the Milwaukee Police Department’s standard operating procedure. The van was placed on a flatbed truck by the city’s towing contractor and taken to the tow lot on Lincoln Avenue. At the lot, all vehicles are supposed to be inspected with someone from the lot getting on the flatbed to record vehicle identification and license plate numbers and using a flashlight to inspect vehicles, Polenske said.

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