!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #1: OUR SKIT MISSED THE MARK
The Charlotte Hornets have dropped the ball when attempting a holiday promotion on court. Alexei Phillips took his 13 year old nephew to an NBA game where a staff member approached them asking, “Hey, do you guys wanna be on the court with Hugo?” The two fans happily agreed, and once on court the announcer reads, “I have another letter here. It says, ‘Dear Santa Hugo, I’ve been working hard in school all year. I’ve also been working on my jump shot but my jump shot in 2K needs some work. I really want a PlayStation if you have one, P.S. a PlayStation 5.” The gift comes out on stage where it’s passed to Alexi’s nephew to loud cheers. Once they go backstage the holiday happiness is no longer where a staffer demanded the gift back in exchange for a jersey. It was clear the staffer was not joking as they took the PS5 away from the child. The Charlotte Hornets have since apologized, “The skit included bad decision making and poor communication. Simply put, we turned the ball over and we apologize.”
Boner Candidate #2: YOU KNOW I’M NOT THE REAL JESUS, RIGHT?
Jesus models are in high demand, especially in Utah. With a population that is high in Christianity, many have religious artwork in their homes. MaKayla Avalos hired a friend’s brother to pose a Jesus for a personal touch with their family photo’s. Avalos claimed, “Most Christians have Christian artwork in their home. This is a way to make it more personal, more catered to an individual.” Models have had mixed experiences with some needing to be as Christlike as can be, whereas others can be lighthearted. Holker, 50, remembers telling a woman, “You know I’m not the real Jesus, right?” Holker claims the woman told him that she was asking for a sign from God when she was driving by.
Boner Candidate #3: THEY WERE JUST LEFT TO WASTE
Wildlife conservation officers in Utah are asking for the public’s help in solving a pair of poaching cases near Parowan. A report on Nov. 26 stated that a deer was killed and left to waste in Parowan, and a separate report of a deer to have been killed and left to waste on December 1st just south of Summit. It’s unclear if both poaching’s are connected, but there were no deer hunts going on in the area. When exhausted all investigative leads, the division often asks for the public’s help. The conservation officer in charge of the first case at 435-691-3232, while anyone with information about the second case is asked to call 435-691-4167.
