!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #1: THE MAN NEEDED HIS ‘BLUE CHEW.’
Steve Prado, the president of the Las Vegas Little League, has been exposed for stealing thousands of dollars from the organization, and spending it on strip clubs and blue chew. The man stole a total of $64,351 within 4-5 months. According to reports, the league received a $1,351 bill that included an $800 bottle of tequila and a $50 bucket of beer from a Las Vegas strip club. Other purchases included $294 worth of the erectile dysfunction pills, a Spirit Airlines ticket, and outings at bars and sports books that accumulated to well over thousands of dollars. Prado had been giving altered Wells Fargo bank statements to the league’s board of directors. The league almost had to forfeit the rest of their season due to the financial loss, until a number of Las Vegas organizations came forward to help the team.
Boner Candidate #2: SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS AT THE DENTIST.
A ride-share user in Florida, Pamela Molina, was driven directly to the police station because she wouldn’t stop inhaling nitrous oxide in the back seat. The ride-share driver sought help from law enforcement because Molina was actively huffing a large canister of nitrous oxide and refused to leave his vehicle. After arriving at the station officers approached the vehicle to investigate, where they found Molina still inhaling the gas. Molina reportedly resisted intervention from the police and refused to safely leave the car. Officers ultimately had to remove her from the vehicle by force and took her into custody. “While we can appreciate the irony of where this happened, substance abuse is a serious matter,” Port St. Lucie Police Department wrote in a social media post.
Boner Candidate #3: WASN’T THAT JUST SLIGHTLY EXTREME?
An arsonist in Indiana, Christopher Peden, cut off his own penis and using it to light a fire inside his neighbor’s garage. When Peden was first confronted by police he claimed to have been stabbed by someone downtown. Later he admitted to the self harm, telling investigators that he “wanted to be truthful.” He told the cops that he had ‘harmed himself” inside the garage by “cutting off his penis” with a kitchen knife. Obviously, the most reasonable course of action at this point was to pour gasoline on his dismembered genitals and set them on fire. Investigators found evidence in the neighbor’s garage including a gas container, lighters, and the very kitchen knife he used.
