Boner Candidate #1: YOU DON’T KILL A WEREWOLF WITH A WOODEN STAKE TO THE HEART. YOU NEED A SILVER BULLET.
24 year old man Jose Manuel Perez was arrested in Salt Lake City after assaulting a victim. The victim tried to flee many times, but Perez kept them in a chokehold. Perez attempted to stab the victim with a “wooden stake with a nail in it”, claiming they were a werewolf. The police found multiple rocks in Perez pocket, claiming they were for defense if the victim tried to attack him. The victim did eventually escape unharmed, and Perez is arrested with one felony without bail.
Boner Candidate #2: IF THEY KICK RJ OUT OF THE LEGISLATURE WHO WILL PROTECT OUR KIDS FROM DRAG QUEENS AND TRANSEXUALS
House Majority Leader Davey Hiott had started the process of expelling Representative RJ May from the South Carolina General Assembly. May was arrested on 10 counts, for distributing child sexual abuse material, including videos of toddlers. He allegedly has traveled to Columbia for sex workers who appear to be under 18. Expelling May would halt the money stiped to him in jail. Hiott is quoted saying, “I believe the findings were so horrendous and heinous and heartbreaking, I believe and the leadership of the caucus believes it’s something we need to investigate right now”.
!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #3: MIKE LEE IMPRESSIVELY PROVES WHAT AN AWFUL PERSON HE IS
Senator Mike Lee has been making questionable posts on X about the recent attack on the Minnesota lawmakers. He first claimed the lawmaker was a Marxist, then made a post seeming to joke about the assassination. His post shows a picture of the killer at the door of the victims and said, “Nightmare on Waltz street”. He is referencing Minnesota Governor Mike Walz in this untasteful post. MAGA conspiracy theorists are claiming that the assassin was a Democrat that was appointed by Walz.
