Boners

Boner of the Day for November 22nd, 2022

BONER CANDIDATE #1: THEN GET OUT AND DONT LET AMERICA’S DOOR HIT YOU IN THE ASS.

Typically when looking to move, we all hope it’s smooth sailing. One Florida man took that too literally, and stole a boat in hopes to move back to Cuba. A man had his $60,000, 40 foot, boat stolen from him around November 8th. While he reported it to the authorities the victim advised former employee, Cristian Torres Perez, had been in talks about returning to Cuba because “he disliked living in the U.S.” Hours later the emergency beacon was set off. Once authorities arrived the one man on the vessel was waving them down, was Cristian Perez, who activated the beacon because the boat wouldn’t operate.

via WFLA

BONER CANDIDATE #2: THAT MONEY IS TO PAY OFF MY FAKE DEBTS.

Alex Jones, who was found guilty of defamatory remarks about the 2012 Sandy Hook shooting that claimed 26 lives, 20 of those children. Jones claiming the shooting was a hoax, and was all put on by crisis actors, has him under hot water. He was ordered to pay $1.5 million dollars to the families whose lives have been heavily impacted by his conspiracy remarks. Jones has lately been moving millions from his companies to other companies his family and friends have ownership in. Sandy Hook attorney said, “In the middle of this lawsuit, they started documenting debts that had no evidence of existing beforehand.”

via YahooNews

BONER CANDIDATE #3: I DID IT TO PROVE A POINT. SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE DID.

A successful heist requires you to be incognito the entire time. Michael Conley Loyd of Springfield Missouri did not understand that. As he robbed a bank with a hand written note on the back of his birth certificate, while wearing an ankle monitor. The note on his birth certificate read “Give Your Money Now. Don’t Say Anything. I Have A Partner Outside.” While Loyd drove away, he saw police arriving to investigate the robbery. Loyd then became paranoid and threw out the birth certificate, money, and ID. Loyd later told police that earlier that day he and his lover got into an argument, and the bank robbery was to “prove a point.”

via NY Post

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