Boners

Boner Candidate Preview August 30, 2016

Boner Preview #1: A CRACK ON THE HEAD AND SHE’S NUTTIER THAN EVER

Former half-term Alaska governor and Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin hit a new low — literally — on Sunday when she wrote on Facebook that she slipped and fell, cracking her head on a rock, then used the incident as a way to bash Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton. “Rock-running recently, I tripped over my own two feet and crashed & burned face-first,” wrote Palin. “I recovered with the doc’s SuperGlue, and now any man who asks “what happened?” I’ll refer to as just a mean ol’ SEXIST bully.”

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Boner Preview #2: AH HIGH SCHOOL

The Cincinnati Zoo’s recent gripes about all the Harambe memes, petitions and signs don’t seem to be having much of an effect. Case in point: Two teens performed a re-enactment of the tragedy at a high school football game in Illinois Friday night. During a game between East Oswego High School and West Joliet, a person in a gorilla costume “entertained” the crowd by grabbing someone dressed as a small child and dragging him down the field, according to the Independent. At another point, the “gorilla” chased down a person in a banana costume who was holding a sign that read “R.I.P. Harambe” to a rapturous crowd, as this video tweet shows.

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Boner Preview #3: LEPAGE IS UNGLUED

Maine Gov. Paul LePage’s (R) record when it comes to racially charged rhetoric has long been problematic, but this week, the trajectory of this story took a rather alarming turn. At a town-hall event on Wednesday, LePage said he’s been “collecting” mugshots of “every single drug dealer” who has been arrested in Maine – why he’s proactively done this is unclear – and “90-plus percent of those pictures in my book, and it’s a three-ringed binder, are black and Hispanic people” from out of state. Note, earlier in the year, the far-right governor said he just “reads the names” of the drug dealers and didn’t care at all about race or ethnicity. This week, apparently, LePage dropped the pretense.

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Boner Preview #4: HOW COULD YOU TELL I’M DRUNK?

A YOUNG man ended up in court after wearing a traffic cone on his head during a drunken prank. Daniel O’Donnell thought it was just a harmless jape but police failed to see the funny side and arrested him for being drunk and disorderly. The 20-year-old, of Park Avenue,Worcester, appeared before city magistrates today (Thursday) and admitted being drunk and disorderly in a public place following the incident in Foregate Street on July 31. But his solicitor, Sarah Brady, suggested it should never have come to court in the first place.

Boner Preview #5: I’VE WATCHED A LOT OF TV….I’VE GOT THIS.

A man charged in a 2015 Elkhart murder and criminal confinement case insisted Thursday on representing himself in court despite warnings from the judge that it could be the worst decision of his life. Elkhart County Circuit Court Judge Terry Shewmaker granted the request of Leon Tyson, 28, to represent himself as he stands trial on charges related to the shooting death of Tommie Strowder. The 37-year-old Strowder was shot and killed June 20, 2015, in the 500 block of West Marion Street in Elkhart. Tyson had signed a waiver and said he wanted to proceed with the trial without a lawyer.

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Boner Preview #6: HE DID HIS BUDDY A REAL SOLID

“I was obviously slim enough to get into it, but not slim enough to get out. I was down there for one hour, and it was very unpleasant”, Larsen says to the local newspaper Drammens Tidende, which was the first news medium to report the story. The public toilet is not connected to the sewer. It is an old-fashioned outhouse with a large tank underneath the toilet seat. VG meets Larsen outside the local emergency room in Drammen, a city in southern Norway, close to the capital Oslo.

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