Boner of the Day

Boner Candidate Preview August 23, 2016

Boner Preview #1: THIS IS JUST ALL KINDS OF WRONG

Typically, the miracle of birth is a very private affair, involving only the mother, father, and maybe a handful of doctors. Simone Thurbur is not a very typical person. Thurbur is a therapist and mother of four, but she’s probably best known for having more people than the entire population of California and New York City combined watch her give birth.

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Boner Preview #2: CROCODILES IN HUMPTY DOO

Wanted: the shirtless reptile-hurlers of Humpty Doo. It sounds like a crazy caper in a children’s book. But the police in Australia are serious. Investigators in the Northern Territory announced on Sunday that they needed the public’s help in identifying four half-naked men who had broken into a school office in the town of Humpty Doo, shattering a window and heaving a few saltwater crocodiles inside.

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Boner Preview #3: IT’S THIRD DOWN AND LONG FOR MARINOVICH

In this Sept. 26, 2014, file photo, Todd Marinovich, the former Orange County high school, USC and NFL quarterback whose career was derailed by drug addiction, paints a mural on the side of the Gem Theatre in Garden Grove, Calif. Marinovich has been arrested after being found naked with marijuana and possibly methamphetamine in a stranger’s backyard in Southern California. Irvine Police Cmdr. Mike Hallinan said Monday, Aug. 22, 2016, that Marinovich was arrested Friday night, Aug. 19, after a call saying a naked man was on a hiking trail near homes.

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Boner Preview #4: FINALLY A POLITICIAN WHO SPEAKS HIS MIND

“You’re a real disgusting piece of shit,” Dan Bongino, a former Secret Service agent who’s in a primary race for a district in southwest Florida, told Politico’s Marc Caputo on Sunday. The dispute erupted after Bongino objected to a report in the Naples Daily News that claimed most of his campaign donations came from outside the district. He told Caputo it was a “wholly inaccurate story,” and after several minutes of trying to explain why, the two got testy with each other.  Bongino seemed to say that many of the contributors within his district were small donors and didn’t have to be disclosed, although his exact words were difficult to understand as the two repeatedly spoke over each other. Then, Caputo said, “Let me ask the questions ― I’ll handle the questions and you handle the answers.”

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Boner Preview #5: STRONG ARMED BY THE LAW

Jason Grellner waits to testify during Missouri House Public Safety Committee hearing in March 2012. A recent lawsuit accuses Grellner of coercing drug court participants into serving as undercover informants.  A high-profile Missouri narcotics enforcement officer routinely forced patients in a court-mandated drug treatment program to work as undercover informants or face severe legal consequences, a federal lawsuit filed earlier this month alleges. Kenneth Allen and Jan Allen are plaintiffs in the suit filed Aug. 1 in the U.S. District Court in St. Louis. They previously operated the Meramec Recovery Center, which served as the primary service provider for the Franklin County drug court between 2000 and 2013.

Boner Preview #6: THANK GOD THIS DIDN’T RUIN HIS LIFE

An 18-year-old Massachusetts man accused of raping and sexually assaulting two unconscious classmates in April will serve two years of probation. The case against David Becker was continued without a finding in Palmer District Court last week. The case will be dismissed if Becker complies with probation. Becker’s lawyer says his client can now “look forward to a productive life without being burdened with the stigma of having to register as a sex offender.” Becker can serve the two years of probation in Ohio, where he plans to attend college.

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