Boners

Boner Candidate Preview July 21, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: YUMMY PIMPLE CAKES

Dr. Sandra Lee, also known as “Dr. Pimple Popper,” shared video of the cupcakes which feature cream meant to represent puss pouring out of frosting made to look like inflamed skin. The video demonstrates that the cream can be squeezed out of the cupcake, similar to the process of popping a pimple. While the sight of the baked goods may turn the stomachs of some, Lee said that they looked “yummy” and were “made with love” by California based bakery Blessed by Baking.

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Boner Candidate #2: MEGAN FOX STOOD ME UP

A Chinese businessman claims he paid an escort agency $3.7 million to have sex with supermodels and A-list actresses. Yu ‘Martin’ Xu alleges he paid Sydney-based agency Royal Court Escort for ‘sexual services’ from Hollywood actress Megan Fox, Victoria’s Secret model Candice Swanepoel and Independence Day actress Angelababy but was stood up. Mr. Xu said an agent told him that the agency would provide ‘female escorts of international standing for the provision of sexual services’, according to documents filed in the NSW Supreme Court.

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Boner Candidate #3: CROOKS AND LIARS

Board members of an insurance co-op for local governments enjoyed expensive overnight retreats with spouses at top hotels, high-end steak dinners and golf outings — and paid the chief of their trust an annual compensation of $432,000. Utah State Auditor John Dougall says that shows the Utah Local Governments Trust has “a culture of excess in terms of wining and dining.” After his office Wednesday released an audit of that agency, Dougall said the trust is designed to help its 526 member cities, counties, service districts and others obtain the best value possible for insurance by joining resources.

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Boner Candidate #4: WELL,THE OLD HAG SHOULDA LET GO OF THE BAG

A man has been jailed in Tennessee on aggravated robbery charges after police say he dragged a 95-year-old woman while snatching her purse outside a mall in Memphis. Media cited an arrest affidavit in reporting that the woman tried to hold on to her purse on Monday, but was dragged for about 10 feet along the concrete outside Oak Court Mall. She suffered cuts, sprains and broken teeth and was taken to a local hospital. The suspect got away with her purse. Police say a witness identified the suspect on Tuesday as 21-year-old Adrew Richardson and he was arrested. He’s scheduled to be arraigned on Thursday.

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Boner Candidate #5: I DON’T KNOW WHY I HAD TO PEE IN THE CUP

A daycare worker had an 8-year-old pee in a cup for her son to use for a possible drug screen, according to a Rock Hill Police report. Police say the mother of the 8-year-old boy told them her son who goes to New Beginning Childcare told her he was asked to pee in a cup at daycare last week. The mother told police she asked him why and he told her he did not know. She called the daycare and spoke with the assistant director. The assistant director told the mother of the 8-year-old that her son had just been released from jail and was having trouble getting a job and they needed a urine sample for a job, according to the report.

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Boner Candidate #6: I WOULD NEVER LIE

Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi joined the anti-Hillary Clinton crowd at the 2016 Republican National Convention, calling to “lock her up.” Chants of “lock her up” broke out as New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie spoke at the convention on Tuesday, a night filled with anti-Clinton sentiment. Bondi resurrected the chant Wednesday when she used the phrase during her speech. Bondi endorsed Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump in March. In June, The Associated Press reported Bondi had personally solicited a $25,000 political donation from Trump while also deliberating whether to join an investigation of alleged fraud at Trump University. Bondi later denied her office was ever investigating Trump.

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