Boners

Boner Candidate Preview July 26, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: NO SPEAK-O, NO TEACH-O.

A non-Spanish-speaking teacher is suing her employer for rejecting her from a job that required her to teach the language. Tracy Rosner, a third-grade teacher at Coral Reef Elementary in Palmetto Bay, Florida, applied to teach an extended foreign language track, which required teaching one hour of a foreign language daily, the Miami New Times reported. But the district required that those taught Spanish in the extended foreign language track speak Spanish as well, and Rosner didn’t. She was turned down for the job.

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Boner Candidate #2: IF MY PRIVATE PARTS ARE COVERED, THEY ARE IN A PRIVATE PLACE.

A man admitted he surreptitiously took cellphone video up a woman’s skirt while she shopped at a grocery store, but a Georgia court says he didn’t break the law. The Georgia Court of Appeals this month tossed out the conviction of former grocery store employee Brandon Lee Gary, who recorded the videos. The majority opinion says Gary’s behavior, known as “upskirting,” was reprehensible but doesn’t violate Georgia’s invasion of privacy law because it happened in a place that’s open to the public. That law prohibits recording a person without consent “in any private place and out of public view.”

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Boner Candidate #3: DAMN KID RUINED THE MOVIE FOR EVERYONE

A man in a Paducah, Kentucky, movie theater pulled a gun Saturday during a dispute over a child kicking his seat during “Star Trek Beyond,” according to police and media reports. A father told police that his son was kicking the back of the man’s seat when the suspect stood up and cursed at the boy, a Paducah PD Facebook post reported. The father attempted to intercede, and a fight broke out between the two men. When the dad “got the upper hand,” the FB post noted, the suspect pulled a gun and said, “What the [expletive] are you going to do now?”

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Boner Candidate #4: THE RACIST ROADHOUSE WAITRESS

A Colorado waitress reacted to customers leaving an unsatisfactory tip by fantasizing on social media about killing Mexicans in a “purge” — and then she lost her job. Megan Olson, who goes by the name “megatron” on Twitter, posted the violent message referring to to movie “The Purge: Election Year” earlier this month on her personal account, reported KMGH-TV. “If we had a real life purge I would kill as many Mexicans as I could in one night,” Olson tweeted, followed by the hashtag “learn how to tip you f*cking twat.” Other social media users brought the tweet to her employer’s attention by posting screen captures of the message on the Facebook page managed by Texas Roadhouse in Greeley.

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Boner Candidate #5: THIS REALLY KEEPS THE KIDS IN LINE

A man in a Paducah, Kentucky, movie theater pulled a gun Saturday during a dispute over a child kicking his seat during “Star Trek Beyond,” according to police and media reports. A father told police that his son was kicking the back of the man’s seat when the suspect stood up and cursed at the boy, a Paducah PD Facebook post reported. The father attempted to intercede, and a fight broke out between the two men. When the dad “got the upper hand,” the FB post noted, the suspect pulled a gun and said, “What the [expletive] are you going to do now?”

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Boner Candidate #6: SOMEBODY NEEDS TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL

A Florida high school’s spelling is under scrutiny after the road outside the building was freshly painted to read “SCOHOL.” Kevin O’Korn posted a photo to Facebook Saturday showing Volusia County had painted the road outside Pine Ridge Middle School in Deltona to read “SCOHOL,” and the spelling error appeared twice. It was unclear whether the fault for the painting mistake lies with the school district, the county or an independent contractor. The error appeared to have been fixed by Monday morning.

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