Boners

Boner Candidate Preview June 1, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: THERE GOES THAT DANGED SHOULDER AGAIN

A Pennsylvania woman charged with purposely and repeatedly dislocating her shoulder so she could get painkillers is scheduled to plead guilty. A change-of-plea hearing for Latrobe resident Kari Richards is scheduled for Tuesday before a federal judge in Pittsburgh. Richards was indicted last June on charges she defrauded Highmark Inc.’s Community Blue health insurance plan by traveling to more than 100 hospitals in 11 states to obtain prescriptions for shoulder dislocations she was causing herself.

Read More

Boner Candidate #2: INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING, WHY DON’T YOU HELP YOUR NEIGHBOR?

A 90-year-old widow is facing eviction from the home she has lived in for 70 years after neighbors complained about its condition. Marie Louise Sikorski has built up thousands of dollars in violations in her Sarasota, Florida, property she has lived in since it was built 1952. Two years ago her neighbors started to complain the house had fallen into disrepair and the standoff has continued since.

Read More

Boner Candidate #3: SCIENTIST RUSH LIMBAUGH

Rush Limbaugh seems to think that Harambe, the gorilla shot and killed at the Cincinnati Zoo over the weekend after a young boy fell into the enclosure, is proof against evolution.  “A lot of people think that all of us used to be apes,” the right-wing radio host said on his show Tuesday, according to a transcript on his website and audio posted online by Media Matters (above). “Don’t doubt me on this. A lot of people think that all of us used to be gorillas, and they’re looking for the missing link out there…”

Read More

Boner Candidate #4: HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHAT A FRIVOLOUS LAWSUIT IS?

Another day, another lawsuit for McDonald’s — and this one doesn’t involve mozzarella sticks. A Louisiana man named Scott Magee is suing the fast food chain for failing to accommodate blind customers at the drive-thru during late-night hours.The lawsuit claims “McDonald’s violates the Americans with Disabilities Act by prohibiting visually impaired pedestrians from ordering at drive-thru windows after restaurant lobbies are closed,” CBS Chicago reports.

Read More

Boner Candidate #5: IT WAS A HACKER, HONEST.

Linda Storm Sorenson is a Colorado Republican and recently, her Facebook page said she “shared John Frank Pelicano’s photo”:

052816_sorenson_facebook_600x400.jpg

Daaaammnnnnn. That is pretty, old-timey racist there. Linda Storm Sorenson is the chairwoman of the Delta County (Colorado) Republican Party and this isn’t a good look. I mean, it seems to be a good look for the Republican Party’s racist and anti-semitic presidential candidate—but in general it’s one of those things you say behind closed doors, right? The DCRCC has jumped to action, blaming this meme situation on…hackers.

Read More

Boner Candidate #6: YOU DON’T LIKE FUN? I WON’T BRING ‘EM BACK AGAIN.

The Environmental Health Division of Public Health Madison and Dane County has issued a health code violation to a Fitchburg restaurant that hosted an alligator. An employee at Me & Julio Restaurant on Fish Hatchery Road confirmed to News 3 that an alligator was brought to the restaurant on Thursday night. Two videos posted to social media Thursday evening showed the alligator in the restaurant. Health officials said the code violation does not include a fine.

Read More


Subscribe to X96's News!

Get the latest music news, contests and flyaways, and more straight to your inbox with our weekly emails.

* indicates required
Comments
To Top