Boner Candidate #1: THEN JUST SHUT UP.
Bristol Palin wants a more private life, so she did what anyone else would do: Posted about it on Instagram. “As much as I want to show off my kids, there’s been too many creeps recently, so I’m trying to keep them safe by not posting pictures of them,” she wrote on Sunday. “So hard but their safety is our no. 1 priority!” Still, the 25-year-old politispawn couldn’t help but pen that missive alongside a photo with new husband Dakota Meyer, an out-of-focus Sailor Grace Meyer, 6 months, and cropped-out Tripp Johnston, 7. Palin wed Meyer in secret with mom Sarah’s blessing earlier this month after a truly tumultuous relationship.
Boner Candidate #2: NOW THAT’S WINNING.
Charlie Sheen admitted he had sex with 25 people without telling them he was HIV positive — but insisted he never had unprotected sex with any them, according to a report. “I never did. I wouldn’t do that to someone, I would not,” he told a sold-out crowd during an interview with Piers Morgan at a London Town Hall event Sunday night, Radar Online reported. “The only times I didn’t tell them was because the last 25 times they used it against me and used my medical condition for their own folly and financial gain,” he said.
Boner Candidate #3: THE TRUE TEST OF PRINCIPLE IS TO NOT VOTE FOR TRUMP
Utah congressman’s Republican challenger says it’s time to clean House, starting with the 3rd District incumbent. It’s probably not the type of support that presumptive GOP nominee Donald Trump would want. Rep. Jason Chaffetz said Monday he will vote for Trump — mostly because of the conservative Supreme Court members he could nominate — but the Utah Republican plans to use his chairmanship of the House Oversight Committee to check and bridle Trump’s wilder ideas and proposals. “I’m going to be a kid in a candy store” if Trump is elected and pursues such proposals as restricting entry for Muslims into America, Chaffetz said. “Let me loose. We’re going to have some very interesting hearings and more bipartisan support than ever if that happens.”
Boner Candidate #4: HEY DOC. HOW DOES THE OLIVE GARDEN SOUND TO YOU?
A free lunch may be all it takes to persuade a doctor to prescribe a brand-name drug instead of a cheaper generic, a new study suggests. Using Medicare’s Open Payments data from 2013, researchers collected information on 279,669 doctors who received 63,524 payments reported by drug companies. They concentrated on specific drugs in four categories: cholesterol lowering statins, two types of blood pressure drugs and antidepressants. The study, in JAMA Internal Medicine, found that 95 percent of the payments were for meals sponsored by drug companies, worth about $12 to $18 each.
Boner Candidate #5: IGGY IS MY SERVICE ANIMAL
An iguana non grata and its owner were ejected from a Colorado courthouse after an X-ray picked up the lizard lounging inside a bag. Deputies at the Boulder County Justice Center are used to detecting weapons and other contraband at the security checkpoint, but the smuggled reptile was a surprise. The Sheriff’s Office tweeted the skeletal image and a warning: “At the Justice Center only service animals are allowed. No iguanas . . . even if it goes through the X-ray machine.”
Boner Candidate #6: FOOL WAS DIGGIN UP MY YAMS
A man at a suburban West Palm Beach house party told investigators he noticed some yams growing along the fence. Curious how big they were, the 47-year-old started to dig up a few. Then Jeromey McCook approached him and told him to stop, according to a Palm Beach County sheriff’s report. The pair began to argue. McCook pulled out a gun, hit the man over the head with it and then shot him, according to the sheriff’s office. McCook, 32, is being held in the Palm Beach County Jail on $50,000 bail on charges of aggravated assault, aggravated battery, possession of a firearm during a felony and discharging a firearm in public. McCook does not appear to have any previous criminal history in Palm Beach County.
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