Boners

Boner Candidate Preview May 3, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: 2 DUI’S FOR THE PRICE OF ONE.

A 41-year-old Florida woman defending her younger brother during a DUI arrest also was charged with drunken driving. The arrests occurred along Interstate 75 near Ocala. The Ocala Star-Banner reports officials issued a bulletin about a reckless driver heading south on the highway early Friday. A Florida Highway Patrol trooper spotted the vehicle and pulled it over. According to an incident report, the trooper smelled alcohol on 31-year-old Josue Moncada and arrested him.

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Boner Candidate #2: GEEZE LADY. KEEP YOUR FAT NOSE OUT OF IT.

Video posted on YouTube shows a woman at a Walmart store loudly berating a man who was paying for his groceries with food stamps.  As a child sits in the man’s shopping cart looking on, the woman complains about how she is paying for his food with her tax money.  “You know, I put in 50-60 hour weeks… trying to provide for my family,” the man says, although some of his words are unclear. “You’re not providing for it, I am,” the woman snaps back. “The government is.”

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Boner Candidate #3: WHO FELL? OH IT WAS JUST CARLY

At a rally in La Porte, Indiana on Sunday, Carly Fiorina introduced the Cruz family before immediately falling off a low stage. In the video above, first shared by Infowars, Heidi Cruz appears to notice that Fiorina has disappeared and makes an attempt to reach out to her (at least with her words). Ted Cruz, a sweaty boot, can be seen noticing that Fiorina has disappeared and then rapidly returning to hand-shaking.

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Boner Candidate #4: WE’LL PREVENT MEN FROM GOING INTO WOMEN’S RESTROOMS BY SENDING MEN INTO WOMEN’S RESTROOMS.

It turns out that anti-LGBT activists are right that men are taking advantage of a transgender-inclusive policy at Target to go into women’s restrooms — and those men are anti-LGBT activists. In an interview this morning with “Breitbart News Daily,” the American Family Association’s director of governmental affairs, Sandy Rios, said that activists have been “testing” Target’s policy by sending men into women’s rooms at the retail chain.

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Boner Candidate #5: GOOD ADVICE ON HOW TO GET DEAD FROM NEVADA ASSEMBLYWOMAN MICHELE FIORE.

Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore (R), who is currently seeking her party’s nomination for an open U.S. House seat, said last week that she believes the right to self defense includes the right to aim your gun anyone who aims a gun at you, even if they are a law enforcement officer. In an interview with a local TV station last Sunday, Fiore attacked the federal Bureau of Land Management (BLM) as “a bureaucrat agency of terrorism.”

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Boner Candidate #6: MORON OF THE YEAR! OH, AND WHO LET THIS PICTURE GET BY THEM?

A student at Red Mountain High School in Mesa is facing dozens of criminal charges for indecent exposure after a prank got published in the yearbook, according to the Mesa Police Department. The student exposed himself in the varsity football team picture, Det. Steve Berry said. Approximately 3,400 students received a yearbook with the image before it was brought to the attention of school officials. The photo was also used in the football program, which was sold at numerous games to students and families, according to court paperwork.

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