Boners

Boner Candidate Preview September 20, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: ANOTHER BROKEN PROMISE

UTA board member Charles Henderson mentioned Monday — during a public UTA executive board meeting — that the Planning and Development Committee he heads met last week to discuss the agency’s goals for the upcoming year. The problem is that that meeting had no public notice, and UTA had specifically told The Salt Lake Tribune last week that no committees were meeting, despite being scheduled on earlier calendars. Soon after The Tribune emailed UTA spokesman Remi Barron asking what happened with the public notice, Henderson announced that he had misspoken. He said his committee actually didn’t meet because “we don’t do that anymore,” and instead said it was just a group of the same members having an informal discussion about goals for the agency.

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Boner Candidate #2: A LOT OF WORK FOR NOTHING

A dimwitted burglar was filmed clearing a toy cash register of all its play money during a break-in earlier this month in southern California. In the video, the suspect can be seen dropping into the dark playroom before grabbing at the toy. After emptying its contents the man makes a run for it down a lit hallway. Damage to the building’s ceiling and air conditioner from the break-in have since been repaired, management told the local station. The register has also been refilled. As of Monday, no arrests have been made in the case, police told The Huffington Post.

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Boner Candidate #3: WE’RE RINSING THE GRASS

A sprinkler sprays water onto fake grass outside a Los Angeles Department of Water and Power facility.  The DWP has, for example, installed drought-tolerant plants and fake grass at its substations. “We stopped watering the grass to do our part to save water,” a sign at the South LA substation says. But a CBS Los Angeles investigation found the water has not stopped flowing outside DWP buildings. Rather, the DWP has installed sprinklers to soak its fake grass for minutes at a time.

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Boner Candidate #4: OH SHE’S ALWAYS RIDING UP THERE

Police arrested a Little Rock man Saturday after he was accused of driving his girlfriend’s car at high speeds while she was on the hood of the vehicle. Nathan Farmer, 41, was arrested Saturday morning at 46 Greenway Drive in Little Rock, according to a police report.

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Boner Candidate #5: YOU’RE WELCOME COLIN KAEPERNICK

Rep. Lee Zeldin (R-N.Y.) had a strange reaction to the capture of Ahmad Khan Rahami, the 28-year-old suspect wanted in connection with an explosion Saturday night in New York City.  The freshman congressman, who represents New York’s 1st Congressional District, addressed San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick in an apparently sarcastic tweet on Monday. Over the last few weeks, Kaepernick has refused to stand during the national anthem in order to protest racial bias in policing and police brutality.

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Boner Candidate #6: POISONED SKITTLES

Donald Trump Jr. might want to lay off the candy.  The son of the Republican presidential candidate was skewered on Twitter on Monday for his bizarre comparison of refugees to a bowl of Skittles (some of which had been poisoned).

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