Boner Candidate #1: A LOT OF WORK FOR NOTHING
A dimwitted burglar was caught on camera crashing through a YMCA’s ceiling before making off with fake money from inside a toy cash register, KESQ-TV reported. Surveillance video captured the bizarre Sept. 10 theft at the YMCA Doris Mechanick Child Development Center in Indio, outside Palm Springs, California.
Boner Candidate #2: I CAN SPOT A TERRORIST FROM A MILE AWAY
Donald Trump, the real estate mogul and reality television star who is now the Republican presidential nominee, has long bragged that he can identify terrorism before anyone else. On Saturday, Trump called an explosion in New York City a “” before officials said so publicly — then boasted about getting it right “before the news.” He once likened his Spidey Sense for terrorists to his ability to sniff out good locations for properties and “I predicted terrorism, because I can feel it.” And at a campaign stop last year, he invoked “a friend” who he says called him “the first guy that really predicted terrorism.” But there’s a reason presidents (and journalists) try not to guess the motives behind violent acts before the facts roll in, even if an explanation may appear obvious: It’s too risky to get it wrong.
Boner Candidate #3: I WAS JUST FIXIN’ MY TIE
A funeral home director in Houston is allegedly taking selfies with hearses and caskets, posting some of the eerie images on Facebook. ABC13.com reports that Rose Molina made the shocking discovery last weekend during services for her 32-year-old cousin. “That day was especially hard for us because Saturday was the one-year anniversary of the loss of my grandmother, and they were buried next to each other,” Molina told the station.
Boner Candidate #4: HEY MUSLIMS…NO TREATS FOR YOU.
A Minnesota restaurant owner upset over what happened in St. Cloudposted a controversial sign Monday morning. The sign outside Treats Family Restaurant in Lonsdale, Minnesota, reads “Muslims Get Out.” A second line reads “In Support Of St. Cloud.”
Boner Candidate #5: WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? I’M ALREADY ON THE LIST.
A 50-year-old man indulged his impulse to stimulate himself in possibly the worst location last month. Prosecutors say Anthony Hardison was in the lobby of the King County Sheriff’s Office in downtown Seattle last month registering as a sex offender when a sheriff’s office employee found him masturbating. The incident occurred Aug. 12, a week after Hardison was sentenced on two counts of indecent exposure with sexual motivation for showing his genitals to bus drivers.
Boner Candidate #6: CRIKEY! I’M IN MY ROOM.
An Australian teen was reported missing this week, and when police appealed to the public for information on her whereabouts on Facebook, she cracked the case for them by saying she was in her room. Queensland Police posted about the missing teen Sunday, asking citizens on the social network to contact them if they had any information about the girl.
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