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Boner Candidates April 12, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: IVANKA AND ERIC WILL NOT VOTE FOR DAD

Rochester, New York • Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump’s children may be among his most loyal cheerleaders. But only one of his three oldest children will be able to vote for him in Republican primary in New York on April 19. New York City voter registration records show neither Ivanka Trump nor her brother Eric Trump registered with the Republican Party in time to cast their ballots for their father under the state’s arcane voting rules. “They had a long time to register and they were, you know, unaware of the rules, and they didn’t register in time, so they feel very, very guilty,” Trump said in a phone interview with “Fox and Friends” on Monday morning. “But it’s fine. I mean I understand that. I think they have to register a year in advance and they didn’t. So Eric and Ivanka I guess won’t be voting,” he said.

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Boner Candidate #2: THE FUN MOM

While Andrew Frye lay dying on the floor of a Super 8 motel room in Akron, Ohio, last week, a party raged around him. The alleged attendees – themselves high from a mixture of heroin and fentanyl – weren’t other teenagers but the 16-year-old’s mother and grandmother, police say. Prosecutors say the very people who should have protected the teenager from the dangers of drug use were the ones who walked him to a ledge and “enabled” him to jump. “We have evidence of drug abuse by more than one person, more than one relative of the deceased,” Summit County Sheriff Steve Barry told the Cleveland Plain Dealer. “It appears his mother, her friend and his grandmother, and a friend of the grandmother, all had a hand in obtaining and disseminating heroin among themselves. “The evidence in this case turns my stomach,” Barry said.

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Boner Candidate #3: BILL O’REILLY ON THOSE TATTOOED BLACK VOTERS

Fox News host Bill O’Reilly wants to know how Donald Trump plans to appeal to “ill-educated” black voters with forehead tattoos.  Speaking on “The O’Reilly Factor“ on Monday night, O’Reilly noted that Trump wasn’t doing well with minority voters — a notion backed by polls, but one the GOP frontrunner disputed. Trump claimed he would “do fantastic with African-Americans and with Hispanics” by promising to bring jobs back to the U.S. “China has the jobs. Mexico has the jobs. Japan has the jobs. Everybody has the jobs — we don’t have the jobs,” Trump said. “The jobs have been taken out of the United States like we’re a bunch of babies.” Then O’Reilly pressed Trump on how he could promise jobs for black voters.“How are you going to get jobs for them?” O’Reilly asked.

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