Boners

Boner Candidates April 27, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: MEXICAN, MUSLIM…IT’S ALL THE SAME.

Two men and their firearms were vastly outnumbered by media and police presence Monday morning at a demonstration of their anti-Muslim feelings at the Georgia Capitol. The protesters, James Stachowiak of Augusta and Florida pastor Terry Jones, railed against Islam outside the Georgia Capitol. The two had encouraged other supporters, who did not show up, to bring loaded weapons to the demonstration. That call prompted an abundance of security forces, including two helicopters, to monitor the event. “Well obviously when you have a protest that’s claiming a controversial subject, and they tell us they’re bringing assault rifles, we’re going to one up ’em,” State Capitol Police Captain Lewis Young said.

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Boner Candidate #2: LOCAL GOVERNMENT…GETTING THINGS DONE.

A city council member in Alabama says the town’s mayor punched him in the face at the end of a council meeting, leading to a fracas involving several others. CBS affiliate WAKA reports Alexander City Mayor Charles Shaw rushed across the stage and punched councilman Tony Goss as Monday night’s meeting was concluding, and that a larger brawl erupted after that. No one was seriously hurt. Shaw tells Al.com that Goss swore at his wife, which prompted the brawl. The mayor said he’d hit Goss again if he swears at his wife again.

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Boner Candidate #3: I WAS NERVOUS ABOUT THE JOB INTERVIEW

A Des Moines man was arrested Monday after he allegedly drove himself drunk to an interview with a taxi cab company, hitting parked cars in the lot. Ryan William Dickson, 39, arrived for his interview with Trans Iowa, a taxicab and shuttle company on Army Post Road, at 9:25 a.m., but had a little trouble parking. That’s likely because he blew a .273 on a preliminary breath test, which is three-times the legal limit to drive, according to a police report. A woman on her smoke break saw Dickson trying to maneuver into a parking space, but hit an adjacent car while he was backing up, the report states. Dickson straightened out and pulled into the space, but he crashed into the car in front of him.

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