Boners

Boner Candidates August 11, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: BLOOD IN THE WATER

A gym has ended up in hot water over a poster apparently banning women on their periods from its pools. The sign appeared at the high-end Vake Swimming Pool and Fitness Club in Tbilisi, the capital of Georgia. Some have accused the pool of mysogyny and sexism. The club said it was protecting its members claiming that the pool had previously been contaminated and this was a preventative measure. They said: ‘Our statement is not sexist and has a preventive objective. We had a case, when the water was contaminated due to which we had suffered damage. We try to follow norms of hygiene and we ask our members to do the same.’ For the record, it is fine to swim in pools if you’re on your period. The Tampax website states: ‘It’s safe to hit the water on your period, as long as you wear a tampon while you’re swimming. Tampons will collect the menstrual fluid before it leaves your body — so you don’t have to worry about signs of your period showing in the water.’

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Boner Candidate #2: WELL, I CAN’T STAND UP TO SCOTT WALKER

Jimmy Anderson lost his parents, his brother and his ability to move from the chest down when a drunken driver hit their car in California in 2010. His subsequent insurance battle and his work to help victims of drunken driving are now spurring the 29-year-old to run for Wisconsin Assembly in the 47th District.  A last-minute radio ad in a Wisconsin Assembly district goes after a candidate for not “standing up” to Gov. Scott Walker (R). That candidate, Jimmy Anderson, is paralyzed from the chest down. Anderson, a 29-year-old Democrat, is one of three candidates running for the open seat in the 47th District in Tuesday’s election. The Construction Trades Coalition is behind the questionable ad, which also refers to giving Walker “walking papers.” In 2010, a drunk driver hit the car Anderson was in. He lost his parents, his brother and the ability to move most of his body. His subsequent experience battling insurance companies and working to help victims of drunk driving pushed him to run for office. Anderson told The Capital Times that the reason he didn’t sign the petition to recall Walker in 2012 was because he hadn’t yet regained his ability to write after the crash. He called the ad “offensive.”

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Boner Candidate #3: MIKE HUCKABEE AND THE FUN OF ZIKA

Zika virus is no laughing matter ― unless, apparently, you’re Mike Huckabee warming up the crowd at a Donald Trump rally. The former Arkansas governor and failed Republican presidential candidate mocked concerns over the devastating virus so he could take a potshot at Trump’s Democratic rival, Hillary Clinton, during a Wednesday evening rally for Trump in Sunrise, Florida. “I’m a lot more afraid of a Hillary Clinton presidency than I am of getting a mosquito bite in South Florida,” Huckabee said. Huckabee’s dismissive attitude toward the virus is not shared by women who are pregnant or may become pregnant. One day earlier, a Texas infant died in the state’s first Zika-related death. The virus poses several life-altering threats to newborns if pregnant mothers contract the virus. Microcephaly, a birth defect that causes smaller-than-average head size, and can even yield brain damage and lifelong learning and mental disabilities for the child, is the most well-known. Arthrogryposis, a condition that deforms the joints, has also been linked to the virus.

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