Boners

Boner Candidates August 22, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: GO BACK TO AFRICA

Unidentified Florida woman yelling at black neighbors — (screen grab) In a video that is attracting lots of attention on social media, a bikini-clad Tallahassee mom is seen screaming at black teens on the street, telling them they should have “stayed in Africa,” before going a rant about late civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. According to the Express, the unidentified and apparently drunken woman was recorded back in March, smoking a cigarette and screaming obscenities at the passing black teens who caught it all on video. Pointing at the group, she addresses what she calls the “black b*tches,” saying, “You all should have stayed in Africa. And you can go back there, it’s free. You know you can go back to Africa, if you want to. And you can take your Washington and Jefferson last names.” As the person who is recording the encounter cautions the people with her, saying, “Don’t say nothing else,” the woman then launches into a tirade while jabbing at them with her cigarette. Arguing that “we’re going to take over these neighborhoods,” she turns to attacking Martin Luther King, screaming, “Martin Luther was a slut who was f*cking white people. Martin Luther was f*cking white people the day he died!”

Boner Candidate #2: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T PLAY THROUGH?

A 61-year-old man was taken to jail Saturday night after he stabbed another man on a Payson golf course. A man was taken to Utah County Jail Saturday night after a fight broke out among golfers in Payson. According to Lieutenant Bill Wright with Payson Police, around 8:20 p.m. Saturday night a group of four golfers were playing ahead of a 61-year-old Lee Johnson and his his wife. The man and woman thought that the group was going too slow and wanted to play through, but the group did not want them too. Wright says a fight broke out and the club house was called out and resolved the dispute. Around the ninth hole, Johnson and his wife caught up with part of the group and thought they would be allowed to play through, but again the group refused. Johnson then pulled a pocket knife and stabbed one person, Wright said. He was wrestled to the ground by the other golfer from the group. According to Wright, one man received a small cut. Wright said the victim was sent to Mountain View hospital with non life-threatening injuries.

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 Boner Candidate #3: WHO IS GOING TO STOP US?

The cost of saving your child’s life has gotten a lot more expensive. Parents getting ready for back-to-school season have another item to toss in the basket along with Trapper Keepers and boxes of pencils — and they’re facing sticker shock at the latest price increase. Doctors and patients say the Mylan pharmaceutical company has jacked up the prices for an EpiPen — the portable device that can stop a potentially life-threatening allergic reaction — from around $100 in 2008 to $500 and up today. That’s a hike of over 400 percent. Now former pharmaceutical executive Martin Shkreli has weighed in, calling the Mylan company “vultures.” Connecticut Senator Richard Bluemnthal, who pushed for emergency epinephrine to be stocked in public schools, pledged Friday to investigate the “shocking increase.” “Patients are calling and saying they can’t afford it,” said Dr. Douglas McMahon, an allergy specialist in Maplewood, Minnesota. “They’re between a rock and a hard place.” Following a recall by Mylan’s chief competitor last year, the company now enjoys a near monopoly. Because of aggressive marketing and branding campaigns, and lobbying for legislation that requires the product to be stocked in schools, they have a brand dominance equal to that of Kleenex, doctors say. About the size of a fat marker, they are carried by many parents of kids with severe allergies wherever they go — ready to jam the gizmo into their child’s thigh to deliver epinephrine and stop anaphylactic shock from a potentially fatal bee sting or bit of peanut.

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