Boners

Boner Candidates for April 26 2016

Boner Candidate #1: LETS ALL TRY TO STOP MIKE PAPE.

Kentucky Republicans respond to racism like this? Republican Mike Pape seems to think so. The ad shows three men with horrible Mexican accents cutting through a chain link fence marked “US Border.” One has a Stop Trump shirt, the other a Stop Ted Cruz shirt. The third “Mexican’s” shirt is visibly dirty, and says “Stop Mike Pape.” Dirty Mexican convinces his “hombres” that they must “vamanos” across the border to stop Mike Pape from helping Donald Trump build the wall, and Ted Cruz from repealing Obamacare. Because Mexicans. And Wall. And Obamacare. What I don’t get about this ad is that at the the end we see Mike Pape (who is wearing a spiffy plaid shirt over a dark t-shirt, can’t decide what he’s trying to say with that look) speaking into the camera that he “will look out for you.” In the meantime, three dirty Mexicans are sneaking across the border RIGHT BEHIND YOU, MIKE! Stop them! Aw geez, they got away.

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Boner Candidate #2: HEY KID, IS THAT POWER LINE LIVE?

A Penn-Trafford Middle School student was burned by a live wire after getting out of his school bus and checking on the fallen wire at the request of his driver, police said in a criminal complaint. An online docket shows that the driver, Patricia Ryan, 60, of Jeannette, is charged with endangering the welfare of a child and recklessly endangering another person. She is scheduled for a preliminary hearing May 31 in front of District Judge Helen Kistler. The wires had fallen onto the road after a goose flew into a transformer on the morning of April 15, according to a letter that the Penn-Trafford School District sent to parents. Penn Township police said West Penn Power was called to remove the downed lines and free the bus, which had become entangled in the wires on Route 130. Later in the day, police got a report that a student had gotten out of the vehicle and touched a wire before crews arrived to clear the road. “It shocked me. It got me like right there, on the thumb,” 11-year-old Tyler Cunningham told Pittsburgh’s Action News 4. The boy’s father, Bob Cunningham, said that Tyler was burned on his hand but was not seriously hurt.

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Boner Candidate #3: SOME SPRAY PAINT WILL SHOW THAT FAMILY A THING OR TWO.

Danielle Boulter was stunned Friday morning to find that the side of her car had been spray-painted with a racial slur targeting two of her children. Boulter, who has 7-year-old twin boys, said she discovered her car had been vandalized with a vulgar phrase. She believes whoever is responsible tried to get to her by targeting her children, who are biracial. “Obviously, whatever was written on my car wasn’t (aimed) toward my children,” Boulter said. “(But) they chose to lash out toward innocent children and affect their self-worth. My children can read. … They know what that word means.” A slur against Boulter was spray-painted across the hood of the car, and the opposite side panel of the car was also vandalized, according to police.

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