Boner of the Day

Boner Candidates for October 4, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: WHAT YOU CALL LEWDNESS I CALL A FASHION STATEMENT

Police say a 59-year-old man who wore a bikini fashioned out of see-through plastic wrap on a New Jersey beach is facing a criminal charge. They say Stephen Wojciehowski spent two days on a Long Beach Island beach wearing a homemade bikini in which his genitals were clearly exposed and was charged with lewdness. NJ.com reports the Stafford Township man was arrested Monday and was released pending further court proceedings.

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Boner Candidate #2: HOWEVER, THE DUCKS WERE IN GREAT DANGER

Reports of an armed man spotted in the area prompted a brief “lockout” at Weber County’s Hooper Elementary School Monday morning. However, the “suspect” later was determined to have been a duck hunter, one of many reported heading toward the marshes and bird refuge areas Monday along the Great Salt Lake, just west of the community of 7,000. “We have a lot of duck hunters out this time of year,” said Weber County Sheriff’s Sgt. Jeremy Rock. “The school was never in danger.”

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Boner Candidate #3: OH SURE, BLAME A CLOWN. IT’S ALWAYS THE CLOWN’S FAULT ISN’T IT?

A woman made up a report that she was attacked by a clown with a knife because she was running late to her job at McDonald’s, according to police.  Alexsandra Conley, 18, of Hamilton called police around 6 a.m. Saturday, saying a clown jumped over a fence, waved a knife at her and cut her left thumb. Conley described the suspect as a male wearing a clown suit with a red wig, white facial makeup and a teardrop on his left cheek. Police said Conley was calm as she was being examined by medics, even using her cellphone to access Facebook.

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