Boners

Boner Candidates for September 2, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: TIME FOR ANOTHER PRISON BEAT DOWN FOR JARED

Disgraced Subway pitchman Jared Fogle has found a new way to inflict pain on one of his victims, blaming her parents rather than himself for her emotional distress. The unidentified Indiana girl’s parents filed suit against Fogle, currently serving 16 years in federal prison, earlier this year for injuries from his invasion of privacy and negligence. Fogle’s friend Russell Taylor, sentenced to 27 years in prison, was found guilty of secretly recording their daughter and others changing clothes and bathing at his house over more than four years and distributing the images to the former spokesman. The suit filed in March had asked for $150,000 in damages, though a motion from Fogle’s legal team wants to name the girl’s parents as defendants.

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Boner Candidate #2: DISCOUNT EAR CROPPING NOT A GOOD IDEA

A 19-year-old woman faces felony charges, after allegedly cropping a puppy’s ears without a license, and botching the job. Brandi Seipe appeared before a judge on Wednesday, charged with practicing veterinary medicine without a license and animal cruelty. Graphic pictures from Palm Beach County Animal Control show what the charges are all about – a pitbull puppy with his ears cropped unevenly too close to the head, says a real veterinarian. The cuts to the puppy’s ears were apparently sutured with fishing line. “He was very drugged up,” recalled Natalie Nunez, the owner of the puppy, named King. “He was scared and acting crazy.” Nunez says she was given contact information for Seipe, who allegedly offered to crop King’s ears for just $80. Nunez says Seipe told her she was a veterinary technician who worked at a vet’s office, and performed ear croppings at her home on the side. When Nunez went to pick up King, she noticed something was wrong. Nunez then took King to a licensed veterinarian, who alerted Animal Control.

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Boner Candidate #3: SPARE THE COAT HANGER SPOIL THE CHILD

An Indiana mother who beat her 7-year-old son with a coat hanger is citing the state’s religious-freedom law as a defense against felony child abuse charges, saying her choice of discipline comes straight from her evangelical Christian beliefs. The Indianapolis woman quoted the Bible in court documents. She said that a parent who “spares the rod, spoils the child,” and: “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.” The Religious Freedom Restoration Act, enacted in 2015, says the government cannot intrude on a person’s religious liberty unless it can prove a compelling interest in imposing that burden, and can do so in the least restrictive way. The woman, a Burmese refugee granted political asylum in the U.S., also is pointing to cultural differences as part of her defense. The case is complicated by an Indiana Supreme Court decision, one law expert said, that gives parents the right to use cords and belts — and possibly even coat hangers — to punish their children. The alleged abuse occurred Feb. 3, according to court documents, when 30-year-old Kin Park Thaing said she stopped her son from dangerous behavior that would have seriously harmed his 3-year-old sister. Thaing, documents say, hit both children with a plastic coat hanger before telling them to pray for forgiveness.

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