Boners

Boner Candidates July 5, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: Use the money you earn.

Nicole Nichols’ 8-year-old daughter has diabetes; Nichols and her husband have come to rely on Medicaid to help supply life-saving essential medication for their daughter, because their two salaries are insufficient to cover their medical bills, which run in excess of $2000 month in out-of-pocket expenses.¬†In frustration, she wrote to three of her state reps, two of whom were concerned and helpful, and one of whom, State Rep. Jeffrey Guice [R-Ocean Springs] sent her a short message reading, “I am sorry for your problem. Have you thought about buying the supplies with money that you earn?”¬†Rep Guice declined to answer press questions about his response, saying only, “I don’t do interviews.”

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Boner Candidate #2: Muslims? Outside a mosque? Must be terrorists.

Two Muslim teenagers were beaten outside a New York City mosque by an attacker who shouted slurs at them, a rights group said Monday.¬†Shocking photos show the pair with bruised and bloody faces, while a car daubed with blood reveals the severity of the assault.¬†The attack early on Sunday was at least the third involving Muslims in the United States over the weekend.¬†Several Muslim rights groups are calling for police to investigate the incident as a bias crime but a law enforcement source said investigators had ruled out the incident as such, despite witnesses citing that the assailant shouted ‘You f***ing terrorist’, during the attack.

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Boner Candidate #3: We Couldn’t Drive, We Were Drunk.

A mother and father have been arrested after they allegedly made their 15-year-old son drive them 115 miles while they were drunk.¬†Timothy W. McCoy, 54, and Michelle Kirk, 45, from Reynoldsburg, Ohio, have been charged with child endangerment after their son was pulled over for speeding on Saturday morning.¬†State troopers found McCoy in the passenger seat and Kirk in the back with her 12-year-old daughter.¬†The boy told the officer they were heading to Cedar Point, but got lost and ended up driving all night.¬†He was stopped in Vermillion while traveling at 83mph in a 70mph zone, MyFox8 reported.¬†When asked for his licence and registration, the boy said he was only 15 and didn’t have any.¬†Michelle Kirk tested .265 per cent and Timothy McCoy tested .184 per cent alcohol content.

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