Boners

Boner Candidates May 24, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: YOU COULD AT LEAST TRY TO LIVE UP TO YOUR NAME LE’GENIUS WISDOM…AT LEAST TRY

A 16-year-old boy arrested nearly three years ago on charges that he shot at another boy and committed a robbery was sentenced Monday to eight years in prison. Le’Genius Wisdom Williams of St. Petersburg, who was 13 then, pleaded guilty to shooting 15-year-old Dinarick Ford three times after the older teen reportedly taunted him. The shooting happened Aug. 14, 2013. Police at the time said Williams and a small group of teens were on the sidewalk when Ford rode by on a bike. The teens began to argue. Williams then pulled out a small-caliber gun and fired multiple times at Ford in the 1700 block of 26th Street S, police said. Williams turned himself in to St. Petersburg police a few days later. His charge of robbery by sudden snatching stems from a separate May 2013 case.

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Boner Candidate #2: Some People Are Never Happy

A woman who has been deaf all her life is now hearing for the first time thanks to new technology – and is already nagging her husband about being too LOUD.Mum-of-three Louise Windsor, 41, was discovered to be deaf at the age of 14 months and has spent the last four decades in virtual silence. But thanks to a pioneering operation which saw doctors install a device that provides sound signals to the brain she is now able to enjoy the sounds of birds and music – and her family’s voices. But hubbie Mark, 41, says while he is over the moon for his wife he admits she’s already telling him he eats too loudly – and has the TV up too loud.

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Boner Candidate #3: You Guys Could Have Just Built a Sand Castle

“I like a joke as much as the next person, but this is a family beach event.” So says a town councilor in the UK, adding that “it’s trivializing quite a serious matter.” The offense in question was a risqué sand sculpture, but the offender was none other than a local police department, reports the BBC. It seems that the Truro Police Department decided to enter the Cornwall Beach Games sandcastle-building competition, but with a questionable “crime scene” entry that featured a naked female murder victim with a spade sticking out of her back, adds the Plymouth Herald. That apparently wasn’t the only lapse in judgment going around, because their entry won first place. But when officials trumpeted their victory on social media, well, reaction was mixed and they ended up issuing an apology.

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