Boners

Boner Candidates September 13, 2016

Boner Preview #1: SEX AND PAIN GO TOGETHER

A judge in Canada is facing removal from the bench for his conduct when he asked a woman in a rape case why she couldn’t “just keep [her] knees together.” Federal Court Judge Robin Camp is in the midst of a week-long judicial council hearing, which will determine whether he ought to be booted from his position. The case in question took place in 2014 when Camp was a provincial court judge. (He became a Federal Judge last year.) The 19-year-old woman said she was raped over a bathroom sink during a house party. According to records of the trial, Camp asked her why she didn’t “skew her pelvis” or push her bottom into the sink to avoid penetration. He openly wondered, “Why couldn’t you just keep your knees together?”

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Boner Preview #2: LET’S TEST THIS THING

Police say a Florida man asking if a bulletproof vest “still worked” was fatally shot by his cousin. A Tampa Police report says 23-year-old Joaquin Mendez put on the vest late Saturday and “wondered aloud whether it still worked.” Police say his cousin, 24-year-old Alexandro Garibaldi, pulled out a gun and responded, “Let’s see.” Officers found Mendez outside the house with a gunshot wound in his chest. Mendez died at a hospital. According to the report, Garibaldi initially told officers he found his wounded cousin after hearing a gunshot. However, police say a witness described Garibaldi shooting Mendez.

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Boner Preview #3: MAY BE CONSIDERED A HATE CRIME? MAY BE?

A Muslim woman wearing religious attire was set on fire in New York City on Saturday night, just hours before the anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks.  The woman, a Scottish tourist shopping on Fifth Avenue, noticed her sleeve was on fire and quickly put it out, the New York Daily News reported. “She saw (the suspect) pull a lighter away and walk away,” a police source told the newspaper. “He doesn’t say anything. Police are investigating whether the incident may be considered a hate crime, and are searching for the suspect, Fusion reported. No description for the attacker was released to the public. The victim is a 35-year-old dentist from Glasgow, according to DNA Info. She was not badly injured and refused medical attention.  “We will advocate for a full investigation,” the Council on America-Islamic Relations wrote on Facebook.

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