Boners

Boner Candidates September 7, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: NICE TRY HONEY, BUT I DRIVE A FORD ESCORT

A young Florida woman who was smoking mad at her ex-boyfriend tried to set fire to his car. The only problem was the vehicle belonged to a total stranger. Carmen Chamblee, 19, was arrested Saturday and charged with arson after she allegedly lit a rag on fire and stuffed it into the gas tank of the white-colored Honda late last month. Surveillance video showed Chamblee feeding the flames in the trunk of the car parked on the side of a road in Clearwater. Witnesses saw her pedaling away from the crime scene on a bicycle, CBS News reported. That, coupled with the video, led to her arrest. Chamblee told investigators that she thought the car belonged to her former boyfriend, but the real owner, Thomas Jennings, was someone she had never met before, the Daily Mail reported. Jennings’ roommate saw the car go up in flames and quickly notified his friend. The pair dashed outside and doused the flames with a pot of water, the news site said.

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Boner Candidate #2: F YOU…MY ACCOUNT WAS HACKED

A New Jersey Republican ended his campaign for local office Tuesday following reports that he called online for the rape of a Washington-based reporter for news and opinion website The Daily Beast. Mike Krawitz, who was running for the township council in West Deptford, sent a handwritten resignation note to the party Tuesday saying he was dropping out. On Monday, Krawitz told The Philadelphia Inquirer that his account was hacked and that he didn’t make the comment on journalist Olivia Nuzzi’s Facebook account. But Nuzzi, a New Jersey native, said she has been harassed on social media by Krawitz since December 2015. Krawitz’s recent comment said: “I. Hope. Somebody. Rapes. You. Today. :).” Krawitz’s account also posted a comment that said: “Hope. You. Get. Raped. By. A. Syrian. Refugee. :).”

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Boner Candidate #3: MELBOURNE. MALAYSIA. WHAT’S THE DIFF?

An Air Asia pilot may want to consider an extended holiday after flying his plane to the south-eastern Australian city of Melbourne instead of the (very different) South East Asian country of Malaysia. In March of 2015 an AirAsia X Airbus A330 had an intended flight path from Sydney, Australia to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Unfortunately for the passengers on-board a snow ball effect of technical errors meant they ended up in the wrong country. Findings from an investigation undertaken by the Australian Transport Safety Bureau were issued this morning, stating that on the aircrafts departure, the air traffic control observed the plane departing from a parallel runway which had them on an incorrect flight trajectory. The flight crew blamed an issue with their on-board navigational system. The report then found that all attempts to reboot the navigational system only furthered the error and overflowed into the aircraft’s control system.

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