Boners

Boner Preview Candidates February 25, 2016

Boner Preview Candidate #1: LET US HELP YOU STALK THIS CELEBRITY

Erin Andrews’ father feared for his sportscaster daughter’s life after a nude ​peephole video of her hit the Internet — a trauma that has turned her into a “shell of the person” she used to be, he testified Wednesday in her $75 million civil trial. “I really thought that someone was trying to kill my daughter,” Steve Andrews told jurors as Erin quietly sobbed. His voice cracking at times, Andrews recalled the shock and horror of discovering the recording posted online in 2009, saying his daughter was left “terrified.”

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: HE WAS HAVING THE BOTTOMLESS SALAD BOWL AND NEVER ENDING BREADSTICKS WITH ANOTHER WOMAN

A Valentine’s Day brawl at the Greenfield Olive Garden. Police say a woman, eight months pregnant, became enraged after hearing her boyfriend was spending Valentine’s Day at the restaurant with someone else. According to the police report, that woman and her niece came to the Olive Garden to confront the couple and the brawl made its way inside the restaurant. Oscar Peralta works as a host at the Olive Garden on 76th street.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: WE ALL KNEW ROB THOMAS OF MATCHBOX 20 WAS PRETTY DUMB DIDN’T WE?

Rob Thomas has apologized after making racist comments at a concert in Melbourne, Australia, last week. The Matchbox 20 singer was caught on camera talking about his drinking habits during his plane ride to Australia.”I drink till I think I’m Australian,” Thomas said. “And then keep drinking till I’m a black Australian.” According to his Facebook apology post, Thomas followed up the comment by saying, “… and then I drank so much I thought I was a little Australian girl.”

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: THEM FOREST SERVICE FELLERS BETTER WATCH OUT

It’s the second smallest county by population in Utah, but Piute County is making a lot of noise in the Western Land Movement these days. Longtime rancher Stanton Gleave is at the center of a conflict that includes the County Sheriff on one side and the U.S. Forest Service on the other. Gleave wore his cowboy hat and held up a pocket edition of the U.S. Constitution as he spoke with the Rural Caucus of the Utah State legislature on Feb. 12.”These federal people have no right to be here if you follow (the Constitution),” Gleave said.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: MORE HUMILIATION FOR SINGLE MOTHERS

New legislation filed in Springfield could make it extremely tough to be a single mother. If a father is not listed on a birth certificate to a newborn child, the bill says a birth certificate would not be issued for that child and any hopes of receiving financial assistance, if needed, would be dashed. The bill does this by amending the Vital Records Act. You may be shocked to hear that HB6064, filed last week, is being sponsored by two white Republican men: Rep. John D. Cavaletto of Salem (which is a couple hours outside St. Louis), and Keith Wheeler, who represents the western ‘burbs.

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Boner Preview Candidate #6: ARM THE CHILDREN

One of Iowa’s legislative bodies has passed a bill to allow children to handle handguns. The state’s House of Representatives voted Tuesday to pass a bill that would permit children under age 14 to use “a pistol, revolver or the ammunition” while under direct parental supervision.The bill — which was debated among other gun proposals and is now headed to the Iowa Senate — has been a polarizing issue in the state.

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