Boner of the Day

Boner Preview Candidates for October 4, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: WHAT YOU CALL LEWDNESS I CALL A FASHION STATEMENT

Police say a 59-year-old man who wore a bikini fashioned out of see-through plastic wrap on a New Jersey beach is facing a criminal charge. They say Stephen Wojciehowski spent two days on a Long Beach Island beach wearing a homemade bikini in which his genitals were clearly exposed and was charged with lewdness.

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Boner Candidate #2: HOWEVER, THE DUCKS WERE IN GREAT DANGER

Reports of an armed man spotted in the area prompted a brief “lockout” at Weber County’s Hooper Elementary School Monday morning. However, the “suspect” later was determined to have been a duck hunter, one of many reported heading toward the marshes and bird refuge areas Monday along the Great Salt Lake, just west of the community of 7,000.

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 Boner Candidate #3: OUR CHILDREN ARE IN GOOD HANDS

An elementary school employee in Georgia was fired this week after it was revealed that she allegedly posted racist messages on Facebook. Jane Wood Allen, who served as a teacher’s aide at the Chestatee Elementary School in Gainesville, allegedly called First Lady Michelle Obama a “gorilla” in an August Facebook post.

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Boner Candidate #4: OH SURE, BLAME A CLOWN. IT’S ALWAYS THE CLOWN’S FAULT ISN’T IT?

A woman made up a report that she was attacked by a clown with a knife because she was running late to her job at McDonald’s, according to police.  Alexsandra Conley, 18, of Hamilton called police around 6 a.m. Saturday, saying a clown jumped over a fence, waved a knife at her and cut her left thumb.

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Boner Candidate #5: SPICING UP THE AFTERNOON DRIVE

Police in Indonesia’s capital are investigating the operator of a public video screen that briefly displayed a pornographic movie instead of advertising to passing traffic. Ten people, including employees of the company operating the electronic billboard, have been questioned, Jakarta police spokesman Awi Setiyono said Monday. Police can’t yet name a suspect, he added. Twitter in social media-mad Indonesia was abuzz with news of the incident, which occurred not long after Friday prayers last week in the Muslim-majority country.

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