Boner of the Day

Boner Preview Candidates March 8, 2016

Boner Preview Candidate #1: I’M CUBA GOODING JR. DAMN IT

“The People v. O.J. Simpson” star Cuba Gooding Jr. channeled Simpson’s earlier party days by boozing with and cozying up to women in Miami. “He was running around telling people how he and his wife are separated [and] how she was his high-school sweetheart. He was a mess,” said a spy. Gooding started the weekend Thursday dining with pal Jerry Bruckheimer at David Grutman’s new restaurant, Komodo. We’re told he went into the kitchen and learned how to chop duck and prepared it for the tables.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: LETS MAKE THESE YOUNG LADIES LEGAL

Under Virginia’s current laws, children as young as 12 or 13  can be married off. But legislation moving through the Virginia General Assembly would put an end to that. Lawmakers on both sides of the aisle are pushing to protect children by raising the legal age of marriage to 16. There is no minimum age for marriage in the commonwealth. “A child who’s 13 and pregnant — it’s rarely the case that the 13-year-old is marrying a 17-year-old,” says Virginia Sen. Jill Vogel, R-Fauquier, whose bill sets 16 as the minimum age for marriage.”It’s more often the case that it is a child marrying somebody decades older than they are.”

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: FROZEN OUT OF THE FUN

Two Utah women who went to see Disney’s “Frozen On Ice” say they ended up getting frozen out. Kandra Pearson and Andrea Bedke spent hundreds of dollars on tickets to see the show Thursday at Vivint Smart Home Arena in downtown Salt Lake City. But they said they didn’t even make it halfway through the performance before they were asked to leave, leaving them stunned and confused. “We came to enjoy the show, and that’s what we wanted. We just wanted a good night,” said Pearson. “They ruined our whole night.”

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: BIG RIG DANCING ON A BIG RIG

A woman brought traffic to a standstill on a Houston highway by dancing on the roof of a big rig, naked. The unidentified driver climbed on top of the vehicle after crashing into another car on Highway 290. Police were called to the scene after witnesses said a pedestrian had been hit by a car. When they arrived they saw the woman undress before clambering onto the truck. She was taken into custody after rescue crews managed to handcuff her and bring her down. Aerial footage showed the woman sitting, dancing and standing at various times on top of the big rig’s cab.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: DON’T THROW ROCKS AT WINDOWS ANY TIME.

Salt Lake firefighters kept a garage fire from spreading to the house. It broke out in a detached garage at 3127 south, 900 east. It was strange to see them pouring water on the flames as Mother Nature was pouring water on them. They made sure the homeowner got out safely.  And the only injury was rather bizarre. A woman not connected to the fire. Jasen Asay of the Salt Lake City Fire Department tells us, “She walked by the area of the fire.  She saw the garage was on fire.  She attempted to throw a rock to break a window.

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