Boners

Boner Preview for February 3rd, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: HERE’S AN AIR TRAVEL TIP: NEVER SAY THE WORD BOMB AT AN AIRPORT

An Indian man charged with making a threat Saturday at the Grand Forks International Airport characterized the event as an unfortunate misunderstanding in moment of frustration. Paraman Radhakrishnan, 53, was charged with terrorizing, a Class C felony, after authorities responded at about 5 a.m. Saturday to the airport, where an employee told them Radhakrishnan said there was a bomb in his bag after being told he would not be able to board his flight. But sitting in the living room of Grand Forks real estate agent Jack Wadhawan, he said the story is one of tired, frustrated people having a misunderstood conversation. “It was just a bad day for an upset passenger and a stressed airport employee,” Radhakrishnan said. Radhakrishnan is an energy efficiency consultant from Vadodara, India. He said he spent last week in Roseau, Minn., working with Polaris. He and his colleagues left Roseau at about midnight Saturday to reach Grand Forks for their flight. He said he got his ticket, checked his bag and moved through the Transportation Security Administration checkpoint without incident.

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Boner Candidate #2: I’LL MAKE UP SOME CHARGES

A California police officer has been caught on video threatening to make up charges to arrest a man at a sheriff’s office service counter. Duncan Hicks, 34, of Victorville, said the incident occurred when he went to the San Bernardino County Sheriff’s Department on Jan. 20, to file a police report involving a child custody issue. Hicks said the receptionist was rude and the deputy refused to take his information for a report. “He said, ‘You have baba mama drama,’ and told me to leave the department,” Hicks told The Huffington Post. Hicks said he walked out, but reconsidered a few minutes later and returned. He said he decided to record the interaction on his cellphone. “Duncan, you know what man, I’m about getting tired of you and you’re about to go to jail,” the deputy can be heard saying after Hicks requests his badge number. “For what?” Hicks asks. The officer responds: “I’ll create something, you understand? You’ll go to jail, you understand that?” Hicks replies: “You can’t say that. How you gonna create something? That’s against the law.” The officer then appears to notice that Hicks is recording the exchange and says, “That’s illegal without my knowledge. You want to go to jail for that, too?”

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Boner Candidate #3: DADDY KNOWS BEST.

A new law in Arkansas bans most second trimester abortions and allows a woman’s husband to sue the doctor for civil damages or “injunctive relief,” which would block the woman from having the procedure.  The “Unborn Child Protection From Dismemberment Abortion Act,” signed into law last week by Gov. Asa Hutchinson (R), bans dilation and evacuation procedures, in which the physician removes the fetus from the womb with surgical tools. D&E procedures are the safest and most common way women can end their pregnancies after 14 weeks of gestation, according to the American Medical Association. A clause buried in the legislation states that the husband of a woman seeking an abortion, if he is the baby’s father, can file a civil lawsuit against the physician for monetary damages or injunctive relief ― a court order that would prevent the doctor from going ahead with the procedure. The woman’s parents or legal guardians can also sue, if she is a minor. The law states that the husband cannot sue the doctor for money in cases of “criminal conduct” against his wife ― namely, spousal rape ― but he could still sue to block her from having the abortion.

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Boner Candidate #4: THERE IS NO ROOM FOR DISSENT IN PARADISE.

State Rep. Beth Fukumoto is exploring a possible switch from the Republican to the Democratic Party in Hawaii, after her stance against President Trump prompted her colleagues to vote her out as their minority leader, a post she had held since her election in 2012. Fukumoto said her fellow Republicans ousted her “because she participated in the women’s march protesting the Trump presidency,” reports Wayne Yoshioka of member station Hawaii Public Radio. Here’s how Fukumoto described the situation in an address to her peers: “They told me they would keep me in this position if I would commit to not disagreeing with our president for the remainder of his term. Mr. Speaker, I’m being removed because I refused to make that commitment, because I believe it’s our job as Americans and as leaders in this body to criticize power when power is wrong.”

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Boner Candidate #5: OH, I WAS KIDDING AROUND.

“In this case, it was obvious that he’d suffered a great deal of bullying (that) had pushed him to this point,” Flaspohler said. “A big part of the (inquiry) is that, OK, we need to make this public so schools all over the place pay more attention to bullying.” Much of the witness testimony focused on Suttner’s manager, 21-year-old Harley Branham. Former coworkers said that she had repeatedly ridiculed Suttner on the job, making him clean the floor by hand while lying on his stomach, according to the Columbia Daily Tribune. Another coworker said Branham once threw a cheeseburger at Suttner after he made it incorrectly. But Branham testified that she did not bully the teen, and that any insults were in jest, the Tribune reports. “There’s a lot of people at Dairy Queen saying I was the reason” for his suicide, Branham said, according to the Tribune, “but I don’t understand why it would be that way.” After hearing testimony from about 20 friends, coworkers, and witnesses, the six-member jury recommended a charge against Branham. Court records for Branham did not provide information on an attorney. She is due to be arraigned February 14.

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Boner Candidate #6: THIS IS A CRAZY MOMENT!

Nothing to see here — just a woman with a snake stuck in her ear. Ashley Glawe, 23, shared a photo on Facebook after her pet python got stuck in her ear gauge, in what she called one of her “craziest life moments.” According to the Portland resident, her ball python, Bart, saw the opportunity to slither through the hole last week before she could stop him. “I like froze instantly,” she told news station WLS-TV. “I didn’t move because I really thought he was like attacking the side of my head.” She ran to get cooking oil to help release the snake, but he was wedged in too tight. Bart was no match for the fire department either, who upon arrival, could not get him to budge. Ultimately, Glawe headed to the Portland Adventist Hospital’s emergency room, where physicians had to slightly cut her ear to remove Bart from his new home. Glawe and Bart are reportedly in good condition following the incident.

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